Faith and Garbage Trucks.

Today is garbage day. This means that today is Reid's favorite day of the week. The kid is obsessed with trucks, and today is the day that big, noisy blue trucks come rumbling up and down our streets, reaching out with giant, mechanical arms to empty the large cans lined up along the curb (did I mention that Reid also has this weird fascination with garbage cans?). Today truly is a great day. While Reid may not realize that today is Monday, and every Monday is garbage day, he doesn't need to have this information to know the trucks are coming. All he needs is to see the green and blue bins sitting in front of each house, and he knows what that means!

Oh, the excitement when he spotted the clues this morning! We couldn't focus through breakfast, he kept staring out the window, calling "Truck! Truck!" in desperation, wondering where they were! After the meal, he rushed to the door, begging to be let out to search for the beloved conveyors of refuse. Our day was spent at the window, watching and waiting.

All day I reassured him, saying "The truck will come, don't worry. It's not here yet, but we know it is coming. Wait patiently, it will be here. Keep watching, you don't want to miss it!" And so we waited with confidence, knowing that the truck had to come eventually, and we wanted to be ready when it did!

Hebrews 11 defines faith as "being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you do not see." In Romans 8, Paul says "But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." We could not see the garbage trucks, nor could we hear them yet, but we didn't need to see them in order to know that they were coming. Reid's hope today was not some vague desire that perhaps we might be lucky enough to see a truck drive down our street. No, his hope was not wishful thinking, but a certainty. There was no question in his mind about whether the trucks were coming. He had faith in our garbage trucks, even though he couldn't see them.

And boy was he excited!!! All day it was nearly impossible to tear him away from the window. He would beg and beg until we went outside, and once there, he just wanted to run up and down the street, looking for the garbage trucks, calling out joyfully for the expected visitors, wanting to be right there for when they did finally arrive.

I want to have faith like Reid's! While garbage trucks seem like a silly example, this is exactly the kind of attitude Paul is describing in his letter to the Romans. Of course, our faith is not in trash-toting jalopies, but rather in the salvation afforded in Jesus Christ. We look forward to the day when Christ shall return to claim His own.

Paul says "we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved... Creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."

Of that day, Jesus says "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done... Blessed are those who wash their robes so that they may have the right to the tree of life and may enter into the city. Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers, and the immoral persons, and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices lying... Let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost."

"Therefore, be on your guard because you do not know when the master of the house will return--whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: Watch!"

Want to know how you can be ready? Click here to learn more!

"No time to say hello, goodbye!"

On the radio this morning, I heard a woman identify busyness as the main cause of loveless marriages. I stopped to listen closer, thinking that surely there had to be other, more ominous reasons she was overlooking, but what she had to say made sense to me. She continued to describe how two people, though married, can fill their schedules with activities which they carry out separate from each other. This means that work, errands, exercise, leisure, and time with friends are all activities performed as individuals, not as a couple. When one spends the majority of their time acting as an independent person, without spending significant quality time with their mate, they run the risk of losing their connection. Over time, that strong emotional bond wanes until the marriage relationship becomes more like that of roommates or business partners. Hardly what I would want from a marriage!

I immediately thought of a book written by renowned marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman entitled "The Five Love Languages" (http://www.fivelovelanguages.com).
In this book he sorts expressions of affection into 5 broad categories:
1. Words of affirmation (saying nice things)
2. Acts of service (doing nice things)
3. Physical touch
4. Gift giving
5. Quality time
Chapman says that while people use and accept all five of these categories, most people tend to have one or two which they prefer over the rest.

My primary love language is quality time, so the talk about busyness on the radio really resonated with me: More than anything else, I want to spend time with the people I love, and I feel most loved when those people choose to spend time with me. Other methods like gift-giving or words of affirmation mean very little to me, all I want is to be close to my friends and family.

Of course, I also am an overachiever, getting myself involved in too many projects, constantly filling my schedule with more activities. For instance, I'm currently a full-time nanny, teaching 4 private music students, working in the computer lab at my alma mater on Saturdays, playing in my community orchestra, and teaching Sunday School at my church. Every single day of my week is spoken for, and at least three, sometimes four evenings are also taken. I have become so busy that when I do get a spare moment, I just want to take some time for myself and decompress. This makes it really hard to get together with friends, spend time with my family, or even see my fiance (who has an equally busy schedule, might I add).

I understand that spending large amounts of time with people is probably not absolutely necessary in order to maintain friendships. A quick phone call, email, note on facebook, card, present, or something else could probably help fill the gaps between the times you see each other, but my principal mode of communication when it comes to friendships is time. Everything else seems second-rate (this may not be true for you, if your preferred love language is not quality time).

I am really starting to feel the effects of this in my life! When I am around my fiance, I am so happy, things just feel right. When I'm going about my week, however, working my jobs, not seeing him much (if at all), just doing my own thing, I almost start to feel like I'm single again. The less time I get to spend with him, or the longer I go without talking to him, the weaker our bond starts to feel, at least for me. Don't get me wrong, I love him very much all the time, I never doubt that, but the reality and significance of our relationship starts to fade unless I get to see him, and not just see him, spend time with him. It doesn't matter what we do, we don't have to go to a fancy restaurant or do something exciting. I'm usually more than happy to go grocery shopping, take a walk, sit and read with him, whatever, just so long as we're together.

It works this way with friends, too. This sounds obvious, but my dearest friends are the ones I spend the most time with. When I spend less time with my friends--even my really close ones--we start to drift apart. I find it's harder to talk to them, harder to feel the same connection. But of course, after I get to hang out with them again, I feel much better.

This really forces me to think about where my priorities lie. I know that my busy schedule can be detrimental to my relationships, so I have to decide which is more important to me: my various jobs and other activities, or my friends and family? So this month I am pausing to consider my schedule. While I love what I do, and find all of my activities to be fun and fulfilling (I wouldn't do them otherwise), I hope that the things and activities I love will never take precedence over the people--living beings, with hearts and minds--that I love so much!

What about you??? What do you think about busyness? What is your primary love language? I'd love to know! :)

The Life of Emily, as of Monday, September 14.

LIVING AT HOME:
I'm really enjoying being back at home with my parents. According to popular culture, moving back in with the folks after graduation is pretty lame, but I'm having a blast! My parents are cool, funny and insightful people that I love very much. And it helps that I have a specific end-date for my stay with them: May 22, 2010. I know that when I marry Gordon, my relationship with my parents will change, and I won't see them as often (especially if we have to move for his residency). Because of this, I am enjoying every moment with my beloved Mom and Dad, so happy that I can be close to them while planning a wedding!

It's been fun doing the simple things like going grocery shopping, cooking dinner, and doing the dishes (I commented to my parents one evening that it was nice to be at home, since I haven't lived in a place with a dishwasher for 6 years. My father replied "Neither have we, you've been at school!"). I love just living life with the people I love, doing everyday things and just being close to them.

JOB:
This is my 6th week as a full-time nanny for Reid, my 16-month-old next-door neighbor. Although the first week or so was exhausting, I am amazed at how quickly we both adjusted to each other! He is such a sweet, cute and smart little boy, who only seems to grow more so every day. I've had many people assure me that "it's easier with your own children" but I have a tremendous amount of affection for Reid! I find myself missing him over the weekend, and in the evenings, if I hear him crying (remember, we're right next door), I want to run over there and help! I absolutely adore Reid and couldn't ask for a better job! If taking care of your own children is even better than this, I can't wait!!!

I am amazed at how much he learns and develops every day. It's little milestones like being able to stack blocks, matching shapes to the correct holes, or learning a new sound to babble (he is so close to talking!) that get me so excited! I am fascinated to watch his physical, cognitive and verbal skills develop, and it has been even more astonishing to see his personality develop! Taking care of Reid has proven to be an incredibly fulfilling job!

MUSIC and ACADEMICS:
I've been playing violin with a local community orchestra, and I get to solo with them in March, playing "Winter" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons! I'm also playing in my church orchestra, which plays for service about once a month. I have 3 private students that I teach in the evenings, all of whom are fun to teach, and I even have a private theory student! I get to spend 2 hours every week teaching him written and aural theory as well as giving him some historical context. It has been a great way to keep up my teaching skills and brush up on some of my music history as well!

In an attempt to keep my mind from atrophying too much now that I'm out of school, I am trying to find the discipline to read. Now, this is not an easy thing when most of your day is spent wrangling a toddler, and when you do get a quiet moment, you'd rather just crash. I'm much more motivated if it's a topic that I find to be relevant to my life. As such, my current reading projects are Suzuki's "Ability Development from Age Zero," and "The First Two Years," a parent's guide loaned to me by a friend from church. I'm thinking that my next reading project should perhaps be something music cognition related... I have a book on musical comprehension in children, maybe that's next! ;)

CHURCH:
I am so glad to be back at the Moody Church! It really feels like coming home. When it came to picking a group to be part of, my first instinct was to go to the class I was familiar with: the university ministry. Of course, now that I'm no longer a student, I wasn't so sure that I belonged, but Gordon and I share a heart for college ministry, so I wanted to stay involved in some way. After meeting with the pastor who runs the ministry, I've been asked to continue coming to Crossroads, acting as sort of a "big sister" to the undergraduate girls. I don't have an official title, but the goal is for me to be intentional about getting to know the younger girls and building friendships, with the hope that next year, if Gordon and I are still in the area (Lord willing), we can take on a more official role as "adult mentors."

I am also getting ready to start teaching SUNDAY SCHOOL in the 1st-3rd grade department! I loved teaching Sunday School while in Bloomington, and I can't wait to get started here in Chicago!

RELATIONSHIP:
It is SO NICE to finally be close to Gordon!!! Even though he lives in the city and I live in the suburbs and we both have busy schedules, we see each other a lot in comparison to what it used to be. When you're used to seeing your fiance once every 2 months, seeing him once or maybe even twice a week is such a treat! We usually get to see each other Sundays at church (if he's not working in the hospital, that is). My train gets me downtown really early, so we like to meet for coffee before service. Our Sunday morning coffee dates are always something to look forward to!

Our big exciting news is that we officially start PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING next week!!! Moody Church has a 10-week course that all couples have to take if they want to be married at the church. We are looking forward to taking that next step on the path towards marriage, and I am excited for the opportunity to learn even more about each other. There's something about this class that makes our upcoming wedding seem that much closer and more tangible, which is really exciting!!! :)

WEDDING PLANNING:
We have a photographer!!! I'm so glad! It was kind of becoming a headache: We found someone we really liked, but he turned out to be too expensive. We found someone we liked in our price range, but he was unavailable. But I guess the third time's the charm, because we found someone we liked in our price range who was available, and we met with them last night and they're awesome! It's a husband and wife team. They both graduated from Moody Bible Institute with music degrees (!), and the husband is a youth pastor. They're really nice, and it turns out we even have several mutual friends! I am so thankful that we persevered in our search!

With a little over 8 months until the big day, I still feel like there is TONS left to do, but I've already finished a lot:

I have a groom (Hooray!)
We have a wedding date
We have a ceremony and reception location
We have a pastor to officiate
We have an organist (woohoo!)
I have a dress (waiting for it to arrive...)
We've chosen our bridal party
I'm close to choosing bridesmaid dresses
We have a (very long) guest list (now to find addresses...)
We have a photographer

That's a lot! The big things remaining are food, flowers and invitations, I think.
This is totally do-able!
It helps to remember my hopes for the day:
1. To get married
2. To be able to celebrate with family, friends and loved ones
3. to praise God, from whom all blessings flow!!!

My goal for the week.

I subscribe to two daily devotional emails from www.backtothebible.org. One of them is by Charles Haddon Spurgeon, taken from his book "Morning and Evening." I thought I'd share the charge that confronted me this morning as I turned on my computer:

Being Useful

"Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the tents of Kedar."
--Psalm 120:5

As a Christian you have to live in the midst of an ungodly world, and it is of little use for you to cry "Woe is me." Jesus did not pray O that you should be taken out of the world, and what He did not pray for you need not desire. Better far in the Lord's strength to meet the difficulty, and glorify Him in it. The enemy is ever on the watch to detect inconsistency in your conduct; be therefore very holy. Remember that the eyes of all are upon you, and that more is expected from you than from other men. Strive to give no occasion for blame. Let your goodness be the only fault they can discover in you. Like Daniel, compel them to say of you, "We shall not find any occasion against this Daniel, except we find it against him concerning the law of his God." Seek to be useful as well as consistent.

Perhaps you think, "If I were in a more favourable position I might serve the Lord's cause, but I cannot do any good where I am"; but the worse the people are among whom you live, the more need have they of your exertions; if they be crooked, the more necessity that you should set them straight; and if they be perverse, the more need have you to turn their proud hearts to the truth. Where should the physician be but where there are many sick? Where is honour to be won by the soldier but in the hottest fire of the battle? And when weary of the strife and sin that meets you on every hand, consider that all the saints have endured the same trial. They were not carried on beds of down to heaven, and you must not expect to travel more easily than they. They had to hazard their lives unto the death in the high places of the field, and you will not be crowned till you also have endured hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. Therefore, "stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong."

Learning by Osmosis?

Reid is a sweet little boy, who is very bright. I find myself looking at him, thinking about his potential, wondering what he'll be like when he's older, wondering what he'll talk about, what his favorite subject will be in school, all the wonderful things he will know. Then I think about what I hope he'll learn during my time with him to prepare him for the long-term. I hope he'll grow up to be a polite boy, so I want to teach him to share, and to say 'please' and 'thank you.' I hope he'll love to read, so I need to engage him in books early, and teach him the letters of the alphabet. I hope he'll be good at math and science, so he needs to learn to count, and to be observant and inquisitive.

Of course, children learn by absorbing from their environment. You can't expect a child as small as Reid to learn something he's only told once or twice, or even something he hears every day. You absorb something you're marinated in, something that surrounds you constantly, something that covers you so completely at all times to the point that you have no choice but to soak it up. Well, I'M his environment. It's just him and me, all day, five days a week. Any stimulus that he gets, he gets from me. This means that it's up to me not only to tell him things once in a while, or even to make sure to do a little reading or counting or something every day, but to saturate him with the things I hope he will learn. I have to exhibit the behavior I want him to emulate. I have to say 'please' and 'thank you' consistently, every time I hand something to him, or vice versa. When we're on a walk, even though he's in a stroller and I know when to cross the street, I have to stop at every crossing and talk him through the routine of looking for cars. Suddenly, everything we see or play with must be described by shape, size and color, every animal must be paired with its respective sound, the alphabet song is sung during every break in activity, and WE COUNT EVERYTHING!!!
Of course, the same is true for what we want our children to learn about God. To borrow a phrase from an anti-smoking PSA: "If you don't talk to your kids about God, who will?" I am learning to appreciate Deuteronomy 6 in a whole new way: "Impress [these commandments] upon your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you stand up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them to your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses, and on your gates." He really meant talk about them ALL THE TIME! Don't be shy, and don't be silent! Talk about God's attributes, His holiness, His perfection, His justice, His mercy, His love, His awesome power, His wisdom, His commandments, everything, during every part of the day, during every activity. Don't let it be limited to Sunday School, or a Bible story or two before bed, or when the subject comes up. God didn't command the Israelites to have a nightly family devotion time, He said to make every moment an opportunity to teach His truth, no matter what you're doing. Talk about them when you're eating dinner, when you're walking to school, when you're doing dishes, when you're playing outside, when you're doing homework, when you're doing chores, when you're providing discipline, all the time. And don't just talk about them, Deuteronomy also says to display them in prominent places. Write them everywhere. Make them conspicuous. Make it so the kids can't get away from them. These truths have to be impossible to miss. They have to hear them all the time, see them everywhere, and most importantly, they have to see us living them. Children learn from their environment, and as their primary caregiver, we ARE their environment. No pressure or anything.

This amount of responsibility overwhelms me. I can talk big all I want, but I haven't been consistent. I haven't been talking about God every moment, I haven't even been thinking about talking about Him that much. It's just too much to keep track of all of it all the time. I can't do it myself. I have to learn to marinate myself in His word so that I can become more of a channel for Reid and for my own future children. This is the kind of task I can only take on if I am truly walking humbly with my God.

Looking Forward, Backward, and UPWARD!

Psalm 61:1-5
¹ Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
² From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
³ For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
⁴ I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Selah
⁵ For you have heard my vows, O God;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

What an incredible blessing to have a heritage of those who fear the name of the Lord! Psalm 103 says "But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to their children's children." I never met my great-grandparents, and my grandparents live rather far away, so I am not always aware of the numerous benefits I receive from previous generations. But I was raised by wonderful, godly parents, and they were both raised in loving homes where Christ was honored, because their parents were brought up by God-fearing Christians, too.
Now, I am very proud of my heritage, loving the traditions, food, language and history of the various nationalities of my great-grandparents, but my family's greatest legacy is not in ethnicity or culture. Ephesians 2 says "But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one... So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God's household... For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name" From generation to generation, my family has impressed upon their children the magnificence of God, the mercy of Christ, and the imperative to follow, love, honor and serve the LORD, from whom all blessings flow. I am a member of the household of God, as are my parents, my grandparents, and my great-grandparents. This is the foundation my family has been based on for over a century. This is my heritage.
Such great history brings with it a high calling. The message has been passed down through the generations to me, and now it is my responsibility to pass it on. As David said in Psalm 76:
² I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old-
³ what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.
⁴ We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done.
⁵ He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,
⁶ so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
⁷ Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.
The responsibility is huge. I am realizing that if my children's hearts depend on my faithful example and witness, they're in trouble, because I am not consistent in my spiritual life. I am not consistently a person worth emulating, nor do I feel qualified to teach--to be the primary source of truth in a child's life! For this reason, I find myself echoing David's cry from Psalm 61 (see the beginning of the post), that God would hear my prayer, that He would lead me to a rock that is higher than I, that I would dwell in HIS tents forever and sing beneath the shelter of His wings. I can't manage such a responsibility on my own, but I am so thankful that God, who has been our dwelling place throughout all generations, is willing to be my dwelling place, as well!!!

Job 37:14

Encountered in my reading today:



"Stand and consider the wonders of God."



http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job+38&version=NASB

Patience...

Phew! After a full morning of oatmeal throwing, running around outside, walking to the library for STORY TIME, counting cars on the TWO freight trains that stopped us on the way home, lunch (mashed potatoes and babies don't mix...), cleaning up after lunch, and one final tantrum before nap (the baby, not me), the house if finally quiet, and I am sitting down at my computer with a cup of coffe.

Nannying is exhausting!!! It requires so much energy, perseverance, care, thought, and above all, PATIENCE! I have always thought of myself as a pretty patient person. Sure, I do like to move quickly, and would rather not have to wait, but I am usually happy to do so, willing to sit and listen, even if there might be somewhere else I was hoping to be. But since starting this nanny job, I have realized that when it all comes down to it, I really have very little patience whatsoever.

With a 15-month-old baby, every little task is a time-consuming ordeal. For instance, washing hands in the sink, which takes me only a few seconds, becomes a lengthy playtime for Reid, who wants nothing to do with soap and scrubbing, and would rather sit on the counter and play with the water dribbling out from the faucet, running his fingers under the stream, shaking his hand and watching water droplets fly, then doing the same with the other hand, over and over and over again. And he's not even done once you turn off the water. No, he sees what you did, and goes for the faucet, wanting to turn it back on. It's a good day when he doesn't also get distracted by all the other things sitting on the counter by the sink! In the back of my mind, I am thinking about all the other fun and interesting things Reid and I could be doing if he would just hurry up and be done in the sink, but in his mind, he's already doing something fun and wonderful, and he's in no hurry to move on just yet!

Going down stairs is another patience-builder for me. He lives in a split-level house, and there are four steps leading down into his bedroom from the main level, as well as four steps to the side door that we use to go outside. This makes for a lot of stair-climbing. Now, Reid is just a little toddler who has only been walking for about two months, so stairs are kind of tricky. These few simple steps require Reid to stop at the top of the stairs, sit down on the floor, consider the task at hand, get on his hands and knees, turn around in a little half-circle in order to back down the stairs properly, and then the descent begins. He typically takes one step at a time, pausing to sit and take in the sights on each individual step, all the while looking ever so proud of himself for being able to navigate such a perilous obstacle. Meanwhile, I'm standing at the bottom of the stairs, desperately trying to resist the urge to just pick him up and put him down at the bottom. But, while that would satisfy me in getting the job done sooner and being able to move on, it does nothing for Reid, who is learning and developing motor skills on each step.

What have I learned so far? Life is made of moments. I tend to spend much of my energy hurrying to the next prominent moment, while Reid is teaching me to slow down and enjoy the moment we are in, with all the interest and learning that comes with it, no matter what we're doing. I sheepishly recall earlier this summer telling a friend that "Every experience we have in life, no matter how troublesome or mundane, is an opportunity for us to learn more about God, and to be shaped more closely to the image of Christ. Paul meant what he said in Romans 8:28: 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.'" I guess hand-washing and stair-climbing are no exception.