I've been teaching her what "obey" means: "to listen to mommy and do what she says." We've been talking about it and "practicing" it for weeks. She usually just ignores me, then throws a fit when I assert my will (usually by picking her up and moving her out of harm's way). Occasionally she listens and really seems to understand what's expected of her. You can see her pondering her next move. On rare occasions, she decides to comply, and I rejoice as if we'd found a cure for cancer. More often she decides to follow her own way, and the battle of wills ensues. It often feels like we're getting nowhere, but I know it's one of those things where the fruit is a very long time coming! Fighting these battles now will hopefully produce results later on, and that is the hope that keeps me going.
Today, we were out on a walk, and she was headed straight for a grimy puddle. I called out "STOP!" and she stopped!!! Glory, hallelujah, she stopped!!! I praised her up and down for doing such a good job obeying, then I told her to go around the puddle. She paused. I held my breath. She looked at me, smiled, and, pointing to the puddle, made the sign for "water." Well, she's not going around, but she's not plowing through it either, that's a start! Tentatively, I explained to her "Yes, that is water, but it's yucky water. Go around, please!" And without another thought, she cheerfully circumvented the mud.
There were hugs, and kisses, and thanks, and praises, and all manner of professions of love and pride and hope from this one little act of obedience! I held my child in a warm embrace and explained to her: "I love you when you obey, and still I love you when you don't obey, but I make these rules to keep you safe. I tell you to do these things because I love you and I don't want you to get hurt. When you obey me, that's your way of telling me that you love me."
Tonight I am reading 1 John. Chapter 5, verse 3 says "this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome." Oh, how is it that I still need to learn the same lessons I am teaching my little one?! I can hear my Heavenly Father now: "I created you to walk in my light. If only you would just listen to me and do what I say! I know what is best for you because I designed you, and I tell you to do these things because I love you, and I want to keep you safe."
When my daughter obeys me, I'm not happy because I can control her, or because I got my own way. I'm happy because she is listening to me, and values what I have to say. When she hears my voice and does what I ask, it tells me that she trusts me not to lead her astray. What could be better than that?
Lord, teach me to listen to you, and value what you say. I know you love me. Teach me to trust that you only want what is best for me, and help me to follow your will.
There's a hymn my mother taught me when I was very young, and now I sing it to my own daughter. I didn't understand it then, but these days it is making more sense:
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| My little puddle-jumper! |
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus,
But to trust and obey."
--Text by John H Sammis
(full lyrics can be found here)
