Trying to get her to broaden her horizons beyond all-time favorite Studio Ghibli (Totoro and Kiki are totally awesome, but we know them by rote in 2 languages now), I proposed Beauty and the Beast. Here's how I pitched it to her:
"It's about a girl who loves to read books, and loves to help her daddy. She goes on an adventure with her horse, and makes lots of silly new friends!" She took the bait. I know how to play to my daughter's interests, all right!
She did NOT like the "'cary wolves," and was uneasy about the Beast, too (though she thought the talking clock was great!). We used the movie to talk about being kind to others, and what a difference that makes for people's feelings. Who knows how much she took away, but she did notice that both Beast and Belle were choosing to help each-other more and more throughout the film. It was neat.
Out of nowhere, she turned to me and said "Mommy, do you know that Belle loves the Beast?" I asked her how she knew that, and she said "Because the Beast takes care of her." Curious, I asked if she thought the Beast loved Belle, and why? She said "Yes, because she helps him."
It was interesting to hear her say that. We often talk to her about how Mommy and Daddy do things for her because we love her, so it's neat to hear these ideas percolating in her mind. Of course, her definition seems rather self-focused (not surprising, considering she's two. And human). She says each loves the other because the other does something for them. But I hope that eventually the true definition will come out and she will realize that love is not self-seeking. Someday, maybe I'll ask her how she knows Belle loves the Beast and she will reply "Because she helps the Beast"
This has always been one of my favorite Disney stories. I loved that Belle was a reader, and a daddy's girl (and daddy is an engineer, how cool is that?!), and totally NOT interested in boys! I found her the most relatable "princess" in my childhood as a tomboy/nerd. But that's not the only thing that resonated with me.
Everyone makes fun of this movie and says it's just "Stockholm Syndrome," but here's what I saw:
Belle willingly gives herself up as a ransom for her father. She thinks she's going to be chained in a dungeon for the rest of her life, but that doesn't stop her from sacrificing herself for her father's sake. That's love.
What follows is a series of sacrifices Belle and the Beast make for each-other without expecting anything in return:
Belle has broken the rules and gone into the forbidden wing where she is confronted and flees the castle. She is about to be eaten by wolves. The Beast is furious and could have left her to die, but he comes to her rescue, and in doing so is injured and collapses.
Belle chooses to bring him back to the castle and tend his wounds. The monster was incapacitated, she could have run home at any point, but chose not to.
To thank her, the Beast gives her his library. If that's not a grand gesture, I don't know what is. ;)
Then there's this sweet little scene where the Beast shoves his face into his oatmeal until he notices a shocked Belle staring back at him. He tries to please her by using a spoon, but his massive claws can't hold it. Belle sees him struggling and suggests they both just drink from the bowl. See that? Each making compromises for the sake of the other. Awww!
Even the song "Beauty and the Beast" gives a good picture of the story:
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends,
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly...
...Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
I've always felt like this was the most realistic of the Disney love stories because it required so many compromises from both characters. They each had to get over themselves and let go of their expectations to make the relationship work. There is actual character growth on both sides as the relationship develops.
Of course, each of these gestures was a response to a previous one. They had to start somewhere, and the first one may not have been as altruistic as I'd like: the Beast probably went after Belle with the intention of bringing her back and locking her up, only accidentally saving her life at great cost to himself.
My motivation to love is also a reaction to something that came before. 1 John 4:9-12 and 19 says
"This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us... We love because he first loved us."
The True tale as old as time...
