Music In Sweden!

As you all know, music is one of my most favorite things here on earth. It's pretty awesome. Most of you also know how much I love Sweden and my heritage (hence the awesome trip!). But I think few of you know that a few years ago, I nearly combined these two loves by going to grad-school in Sweden!

Yes, that's right. During my senior year, I started to apply for a masters in violin performance at the Royal Institute of Music in Stockholm. I was beginning to make travel arrangements for my audition when I discovered that I couldn't get the proper funding I needed for a student visa, since all the grants I would have applied for had ridiculously early deadlines that I had already missed. I was hopeful when I found a grant from the Swedish government specifically for international students who wanted to do graduate work in Sweden, so I contacted them. Of course, their grant only applied to institutions that taught in English (of which there are many), but the conservatory classes are taught mostly in Swedish (a language I was studying at the time). I guess I wasn't international enough for them, or something. Anyway, without the necessary financial resources, I withdrew my application and went to IU instead, which ended up being a fantastic two years, but that's beside the point.

Of course, once I finally made it to Sweden, I just HAD to visit what could have been my school! So while Dan was being a good student and attending class, I found my way to the Kungliga Musik Högskolan:This is the entrance to the main building (they had 5 altogether). I'll admit, I kind of expected the Royal Institute of Music to look a little more impressive, I dunno, like a castle or something, but I liked the atmosphere, nonetheless. Once inside, I found it had a relaxed but businesslike feel, and I suddenly had this overwhelming desire to practice...



As I was exploring, I followed the signs to the auditorium, not expecting to be able to get in, but was delighted to see that a rehearsal was going on, so I snuck* in to listen for a bit. They were playing Stravinsky's "L'Histoire Du Soldat," which has a killer violin part. They sounded pretty good, and that familiar urge to find a practice room continued to grow...
I couldn't get to said practice rooms, as they were in another building which you needed a key-code to enter (yes, I tried being the creeper who hangs around the door until someone else enters or exits, but it was a really slow day, and I was cold!). However, back in the main building I was surprised to find digital pianos lining a hallway of teaching studios:

It's hard to tell, but it pretty much alternates piano-bench-piano-bench, all the way down the hall. You can even see someone practicing (with headphones, of course)!


To conclude my visit, I spent a significant amount of time browsing through their bookstore, where I found an interesting Music History textbook (see the previous post), and almost bought the Music Theory text that they use. I stood there paging through it, reading the musical examples and deciphering the different terms and symbology, trying to convince myself that it was worth 300 Kronor (about $45). I didn't end up getting it, which was probably for the best, but I still totally want it!

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One of the many cool things about Stockholm is that music seems to be everywhere, including the subways! No, no, I'm not talking about street musicians or headphones that are too loud, I mean this subway station actually has music in it:


("Hiss" means elevator, in case you were wondering.)



I was pleased to discover that if you put all of the little snippets together, each wall had a complete tune:





Although, what "La Marseillaise" was doing in the Hötorget station is beyond me (actually, I have a theory, which has something to do with the royal family)...



I didn't have time to check the other side, since our train was arriving (they're disconcertingly prompt in Sweden!!!), but I'll give a special prize to someone who can tell me what this excerpt is:
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Hoo boy! Are you getting tired of seeing pictures of music yet??? I hope not, because the best is yet to come: On Tuesday, we visited the MUSIC MUSEUM (or, Musikmuseet, if you want to be authentic)! The museum was housed in a 300+ year-old building, which used to be an industrial bakery for the army base across the street (which is now the army museum across the street).














You may notice that it looks like we took these pictures late at night. Surprise! They were actually taken around 4:00pm, after it had been dark for a while (the official sunset time for that day was 3:05 pm. I thought these early sunsets were pretty neat, in a dark and cold sort of way).

But I digress! Back to the music! There was so much to see and do! A lot of it was interactive, with instruments that you could play and electronics to manipulate. I wish I could tell you about everything, but since this is already a ridiculously huge post, I'll just give you a few highlights.

The museum focused largely on folk instruments, and though it was primarily Swedish music, there were some really excellent exhibits representing many other countries from around the world.
Here we have a few favorite Scandinavian folk instruments:

1. The Hammer Dulcimer (this is Dan's dubious dulcimer debut, let's give him a hand!)












2. The Nyckelharpa, Sweden's national instrument:












3. The Hardanger Fiddle, made famous by the LOTR soundtrack:



The Hardanger fiddle was named for the Hardanger Fjord, which is where Norwegian (but really Scottish) composer Edvard Grieg spent his summers... Because I know you were wondering about that.


But enough with these pictures, what do they SOUND like??? Well, with Dan's help, and thanks to the magic of cell phones, I am proud to give to you this once-in-a-lifetime experience of seeing TWO of Sweden's national symbols combine for an unprecedented cultural sensation:

Ladies and Gentlemen, a Dallahäst playing the Nyckelharpa!

Before we leave the music museum, I have to show you what I personally thought was by far the coolest thing in there. It was a demonstration of the different types of action in a Clavichord (simple lever), Harpsichord (plucked), and piano (a more complex hammer/lever system).















You could play each of the keyboards and look through the glass top to see (and hear) how the different instruments work. I was so happy to finally get to explore and compare the various actions. I called this the "magic box" and told Dan I wanted one for Christmas...
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On Saturday, my last full day in Sweden, Dan took me to Skansen, an open-air historical museum. This place was one of the neatest things I saw in Sweden! Basically, they built a typical 18th-century town and countryside (most of the buildings are original, dating back two or three hundred years) and populated it with "historical interpreters in period costume." It runs all year, but this weekend was special because it was the opening of the annual Christmas market (a topic for another post, I think). I mention Skansen because, in addition to the organ grinder and the wandering accordion player,















There was also a group performing folk songs while people danced around the Christmas tree in the square (another yuletide tradition)! Most of the people who were dancing were either the historical re-enactors (watch for their cool costumes!), or parents with their small children, but it looked like so much fun that Dan and I had to join in! We danced for a few songs, and I think we both had a blast! We were surprised to recognize a number of the songs from recordings that we grew up hearing at home! I guess my family really is Swedish!

(Sorry for the sideways video! I have no idea how to rotate video 90 degrees! If anyone would like to enlighten me, that would be greatly appreciated!)


*Spell check is underlining "snuck," so I looked it up. Yes, the traditional past-tense of "sneak" is "sneaked," but the usage of the form "snuck," although at first confined to the American dialect, is generally regarded as an acceptable alternative (though in a formal setting, "sneaked" is still recommended).

Books in Sweden!

Okay, I promised to tell you all about my wonderful adventures in Scandinavia! Well, here goes!
I thought I'd try to split some of these posts up into themes, rather than just give you a play-by-play of my time there. I will strive for some semblance of order, but I give no promises!

I thought that a decent place to start would be books (yeah, I'm a nerd). They had small bookstores with the delightful tag of "Pocket Shop" pretty much everywhere in the city, especially near train stations and large shopping districts. I would liken them to Walden Books here in the US, but they were unique in that they only carried paperback books, usually in a rather compact size, hence the name.

One of my missions while in Sweden was to find a copy of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" in Swedish ("Harry Potter och de Vises Sten," for those of you keeping score at home), so this was a shop I made sure to visit. They did not have the book I was looking for (apparently it's only published in hardcover), but I did stumble across a few other best-sellers:




The first book in the Twilight saga, known here in the states as"Twilight," is called "If I Could Dream" in Swedish. I see this title and all I can think of is someone saying "Sorry girls, gorgeous, brilliant, filthy-rich, chivalrous, sparkling vampires only exist in your dreams!"Leave it to the Swedes to keep things reasonable.





The second book, "New Moon," literally translated is "When I Hear Your Voice."
My gorgeous, brilliant, chivalrous (but deep-in-student-debt and SO NOT SPARKLY, thank goodness) fiance Gordon helped me to tabulate a list of psychiatric ailments that likely plagued Bella Swan. Some highlights were Clinical Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Auditory/Visual hallucinations, possibly caused by Schizophrenia. He came up with more, but I can't remember them just now...





The Swedish title for "Eclipse" grows even more obscure, translated as "The Light of Your Heart." I'm just not going to even try for this one.









And the final, most cryptic title of all: "Breaking Dawn" is "So Long We Both Breathe." This title confuses me to no end. First, I thought it was the Swedish equivalent to the phrase "as long as we both shall live," referring to the vampire wedding, but then I realized that in the twilight universe, vampires didn't need to breathe, so probably not. Then I thought that maybe it meant "So long! We can both breathe," meaning you can breathe easy now that everything's resolved. But honestly, the more I think about it, the weirder it gets, so I'm content to believe that the Swedish versions, like the American originals, make very little sense.


Here's another title that caught my eye:








"SWEDISH MAFFIA???" Dude. I didn't know they had one of those. But now that I do, I'm frightened. I'm curious to know if they utilize berzerkers like their viking predecessors...


On Tuesday of the week I was there, Dan (my brother, whom I was visiting) said we'd devote the day to doing whatever I wanted to do. That day we visited the Royal Library and the Music Museum (I think he may have regretted giving me so much control). The museum will have to wait for another time, as it doesn't fit the theme of this post, but the library looked like this:














I was a little disappointed to discover it was closed-stacks (you look up the resources you want and ask a librarian to retrieve them for you), but the reference section ended up being a good deal fun anyway (I think even Dan enjoyed himself!).




I mean, come on, there's a spiral staircase! In a library! In the reference section! How cool is that?!

Okay, moving on...





I was curious to see what kind of resources they had on music. We looked up the shelf numbers using the index, and I was rather disappointed with what I found:

I mean, seriously? That's it??? The National Library of Sweden and that's all you have???

Thankfully my brother was more interested in exploring, and happened to stumble across something more a few aisles down (apparently I'm not as adept at the Swedish cataloging method as I had hoped):







Aaaaaaah, that's better! An entire aisle devoted to music reference materials! My faith in Swedish librarians has been restored!





I was pleased to see that our dear beloved "THE NEW GROVE" encyclopedias are the standard in Scandinavia, as well.

Look familiar???
(Okay, Okay, I know MGG is German, but it was still fun to see materials that I recognized!!!)

While we're on a familiar-looking-music-books kick, I thought I'd mention the interesting title I found on my visit to the KungligaMusikHögskolan (the Royal College of Music).*

This is the title they use for their Music History classes:
Yes, yes, that's right: they use the simplified version of our dear old "History of Western Music" (note the author's line: Based on J. Peter Burkholder, Palisca and Grout!). I guess I should cut them some slack, remembering that English is their second language and all (can you imagine studying for your classes in a foreign language?), but I'm having too much fun right now thinking about the Europeans using the dumbed-down version.

Okay, I've run out of book-related fun to pass on,** so I will leave you with this viking parable (found in a book, no less!):

"Wake early if you want another man's life or land..."
Yeah, the wolves and battle imagery is just a tad more brutal than birds catching worms, don't you think?

*Again, this is a story for another post!

**Oh yeah, I found Harry Potter in Swedish, by the way! It's everything I hoped it would be and more! ;)

Tales from Sweden, the illustrated version???

Oh man, I can't wait to share the awesome adventures I'm having in Stockholm! I'm even taking notes to make sure I don't leave anything out. I'm also taking a lot of pictures so that you can see a little bit of the awesomeness that is Sweden! Of course, I can't really upload my pictures yet, since I don't have the set-up here to transfer photos. This means that if you want the illustrated version of my travels, you'll have to wait until I get home next week!
So what do you think? Is it worth waiting for pictures???

Nordic Adventures!!! (part 1)

For any of you who don't know, my brother is studying in Stockholm, Sweden this year. Being of Swedish heritage, I have always wanted to visit Sweden (I even took some Swedish language classes in undergrad), and this was my big chance! What better excuse than to visit my beloved little brother? So, at 4:25pm on Saturday, November 21, I boarded a plane to Stockholm!

It was a nonstop (8.5 hours) flight on SAS (Scandinavian Airlines System). I was at once dreading this flight (I don't do well when I have to sit still for long periods of time, I get stressed out and anxious--thanks, ADHD--and I have always had difficulty sleeping on planes), and also looking forward to it. You see, SAS has these cool touch-screens at every seat where you can watch movies or TV shows, listen to music or even play games! Also, there was going to be an in-flight meal, and I've never had one of those before. Now, I know that airline food is reputably terrible, but it wasn't the gourmet taste that I was looking forward to so much as the experience.

Anyway, I found my seat on the plane and started looking through the movies that would become available after takeoff. I was excited to see various new movies which I had not yet seen, including G.I Joe, Julie & Julia, Transformers 2, and many more older favorites. It was at this time that a young man who had been chatting with the people in the row in front of me asked me politely if I was alone and wouldn't mind switching seats with him so he could be closer to his friends. Being happy to oblige, I said yes, and moved several rows back. It wasn't until after takeoff that I noticed my fancy TV screen wasn't on. I glanced over to the lady on my left and saw that hers was on. However, the gentleman on my right was having the same problem, pushing the on/off button to no avail. Apparently the two people in front of us were having some trouble too, because they flagged down a flight-attendant, who assured us that once we had reached cruising altitude, ours would work again. About an hour into the flight, after we had hit 37,000 feet, our screens were still blank, and the attendant was summoned again. She looked puzzled, and said she would get someone. She came back with a technician, who said it might be trouble with the circuit, and walked off with a purpose. A few minutes later, an announcement came on over the intercom that simply stated "Ladies and Gentleman, in a moment, I will be flipping the circuit breaker, and we might experience some problems." Not the greatest announcement to make on an airplane... There were some concerned looks from many of the passengers! Fortunately, nothing happened. Unfortunately, nothing happened. Our screens were still blank, and remained so for the rest of the trip. Also, the problem was that our seats had no power, which meant that our reading lights were also non-functional, leaving us in the dark with nothing to watch for much of the trip. I was pretty bummed, especially since I wouldn't be having this trouble if I hadn't been nice enough to switch seats!

HOWEVER, I am also thankful that this happened, because I made a new friend! The gentleman sitting to my right was Swedish, and very considerately translated for me, since all of the exchanges about the TV and power and such were in Swedish. He gave me all the updates on what was going on. He even talked the stewardess into giving us extra treats to compenate (we got as many drinks as we wanted, and a handful of chocolates that everyone else had to pay for)This silly ordeal was enough to break the ice, and we got to chatting--something we probably would not have done if we had been staring mindlessly at a TV screen! We had a delightful conversation as he told me about his trip to Chicago, talking about all the stuff you can get in Chicago (apparently jeans are terribly expensive in Sweden), laughing about the terror of the glass ledge on the Sears Tower Skydeck, remarking on his first trip to the United States when he was in high school (he was an exchange student in Nebraska, of all places--He said the terrain was the least interesting he had ever come across, but it was one of the best years of his life!), and all manner of things. It turned out that he had graduated from the Royal Institute of Technology, where my brother was studying. In fact, he even had the same major! He told me all about Stockholm, what to see and do, and all in all it was great fun! He even gave me directions when it came time to navigate through Stockholm's airport.

But I haven't told you about the FOOD!!! It was good! I mean, it wasn't the greatest food I had ever tasted or anything, but I quite liked it. For dinner, we had roast chicken with peas, a small salad, dinner rolls and butter, brie and crackers, with a lemon bar and coffee for desert! hard to complain about that! Also, I was surprised to find that, about 90 minutes before we were to land, they gave us breakfast! I had orange juice, strawberry yogurt, and half a ham and cheese sandwich. I have to say, I was very happy with the food. And the whole flight, for that matter! SAS won me over, for sure!

Okay, one last flight detail to share, then I'm done! The flight attendants were all fluent in Swedish and English, and were pretty good at figuring out which language to speak to whom. But every time they got to me, they would address me in Swedish. For the most part I could bluff my way through using context cues (if they have a drink cart, ask for "kaffe!"), but occasionally, I would need help from my neighbor (especially when they were talking about the TV screens and such). When he would turn to me and translate, they would always apologize profusely, saying "Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought you were Swedish!" Needless to say, I was delighted.

The flight arrived on-time at 8:50 am (local time) Sunday morning, and I made it through customs and such with no problem. It was great to see my brother waiting for me beyond the gate, and we headed off for a full day of sight-seeing, which will have to wait for another time!!!

Interesting quote...

From a sermon on marriage:

"My goal is to make my wife believe that the best thing she has ever done is to marry me."

Looking back now on what I just typed, I can see how it might look self-centered ("I'm so awesome, aren't you glad you married me?"), but that's not the context in which it was said. What he meant was: "I want to be the best husband humanly possible, supporting and loving and caring for my wife so much that she will never have cause to regret her choice to spend her life with me. In fact, not only will she not regret it, she will be more happy with that decision than with any other she has ever made." He followed it up by quoting Philippians 2:3

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."

He didn't dwell on this, and I don't think that his quote was intended to be a pithy statement, or even the point of the sermon (which was titled "Lasting Love"), but that sentence is what stuck out to me. I like it. I think more people should adopt this goal. I once heard love defined as:
"Jealously guarding the well-being of another." Lots to think about. What a huge goal for a marriage: defending the happiness of my husband, putting his needs before my own, loving him in such a way that he will never have cause to regret his decision to marry me.

If you want to listen to the sermon, click here.

Confession Time...

Okay, time to come clean. I have this problem. Well, I have a lot of problems, but I think it might be best to just share one at a time. So here goes: I have very little follow-through when it comes to long-term projects.

This blog is a case in point. If you notice my last post was over a month ago. I made multiple posts a week for a while, but that didn't last long. I'll admit, I'm not terribly surprised.
True, I could tell you that I got sick shortly after my last post, and my schedule filled up fast when I got better as I was catching up on all that I missed the previous week, and I could add that I got sick again two weeks later, but honestly, the lapse was inevitable. It's one of the reasons I hesitated starting a blog in the first place: I knew my tendency to lose interest.

I have a journal tucked away in my bedside table. I started this journal as a girl (the first entry was dated January 9, 1995). It's still not full. This book is a sporadic chronicle of my young life. There will be a cluster of entries, then a long gap before the next entry, which usually consisted of me exclaiming about how long it had been since I had last written (I once made it nearly two years!). I have another journal, which I started in college. I wrote in it every day for almost two months (I was so proud of myself!), then never again. It's packed away in a box somewhere, I think.

It's not just journaling that I have trouble with. Like many people, my list of New Years resolutions fallen by the wayside is tragically long. I could fill one of my poor neglected journals with the habits I have failed to build! I take heart in knowing that I am not the only one who has trouble with this. I read that only 12% of people achieve their January 1st goals. If you want a musical example, just check out how many symphonies Schubert started, but never finished (no, it's not just the famous one!).

Long story short, I am a person, and people are inconsistent. As hard as we try, there will always be things we let slide. Even the most reliable person in the world will let you down if you give them long enough. We're human, and sometimes we fail, even with the best intentions.

I am so glad God is not human! Here is what the Bible has to say about His track record:

"God is not a man, that he should lie,
nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?"
(Numbers 23:19)

"He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind."
(1 Samuel 15:29)

"He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he."
(Deuteronomy 32:4)

"The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy.
They are steadfast for ever and ever,
done in faithfulness and uprightness."
(Psalm 111:7-8 )

"Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made."
(Psalm 145:13)

"I the LORD do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed."
(Malachi 3:6)

"If we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself."
(2 Timothy 2:13)

"he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
(Philippians 1:6)

Part of God's faithfulness is His refusal to give up on us. Philippians clearly states that God won't stop until He has taught us what He wants us to learn. He wants us to emulate his reliability:

"He gave them these orders: "You must serve faithfully and wholeheartedly in the fear of the LORD."
(2 Chronicles 19:9)

"Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."
(1 Timothy 4:15-16)

"We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."
(Hebrews 6:11-12)

"Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful."
(1 Corinthians 4:2)

I don't know about you, but this all sounds a little intimidating to a girl who can't even write a blog post once a week. Thankfully, God is gracious and offers chance after chance to practice being dependable. Just like a good father, He gives us little things to be responsible for, and gradually increases the load as we are able to bear it.

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'"
(Matthew 25:21)

Hopefully God can use this blog to teach me a little bit more about faithfulness...

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8)

Faith and Garbage Trucks.

Today is garbage day. This means that today is Reid's favorite day of the week. The kid is obsessed with trucks, and today is the day that big, noisy blue trucks come rumbling up and down our streets, reaching out with giant, mechanical arms to empty the large cans lined up along the curb (did I mention that Reid also has this weird fascination with garbage cans?). Today truly is a great day. While Reid may not realize that today is Monday, and every Monday is garbage day, he doesn't need to have this information to know the trucks are coming. All he needs is to see the green and blue bins sitting in front of each house, and he knows what that means!

Oh, the excitement when he spotted the clues this morning! We couldn't focus through breakfast, he kept staring out the window, calling "Truck! Truck!" in desperation, wondering where they were! After the meal, he rushed to the door, begging to be let out to search for the beloved conveyors of refuse. Our day was spent at the window, watching and waiting.

All day I reassured him, saying "The truck will come, don't worry. It's not here yet, but we know it is coming. Wait patiently, it will be here. Keep watching, you don't want to miss it!" And so we waited with confidence, knowing that the truck had to come eventually, and we wanted to be ready when it did!

Hebrews 11 defines faith as "being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you do not see." In Romans 8, Paul says "But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." We could not see the garbage trucks, nor could we hear them yet, but we didn't need to see them in order to know that they were coming. Reid's hope today was not some vague desire that perhaps we might be lucky enough to see a truck drive down our street. No, his hope was not wishful thinking, but a certainty. There was no question in his mind about whether the trucks were coming. He had faith in our garbage trucks, even though he couldn't see them.

And boy was he excited!!! All day it was nearly impossible to tear him away from the window. He would beg and beg until we went outside, and once there, he just wanted to run up and down the street, looking for the garbage trucks, calling out joyfully for the expected visitors, wanting to be right there for when they did finally arrive.

I want to have faith like Reid's! While garbage trucks seem like a silly example, this is exactly the kind of attitude Paul is describing in his letter to the Romans. Of course, our faith is not in trash-toting jalopies, but rather in the salvation afforded in Jesus Christ. We look forward to the day when Christ shall return to claim His own.

Paul says "we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved... Creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."

Of that day, Jesus says "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done... Blessed are those who wash their robes so that they may have the right to the tree of life and may enter into the city. Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers, and the immoral persons, and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices lying... Let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost."

"Therefore, be on your guard because you do not know when the master of the house will return--whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: Watch!"

Want to know how you can be ready? Click here to learn more!

"No time to say hello, goodbye!"

On the radio this morning, I heard a woman identify busyness as the main cause of loveless marriages. I stopped to listen closer, thinking that surely there had to be other, more ominous reasons she was overlooking, but what she had to say made sense to me. She continued to describe how two people, though married, can fill their schedules with activities which they carry out separate from each other. This means that work, errands, exercise, leisure, and time with friends are all activities performed as individuals, not as a couple. When one spends the majority of their time acting as an independent person, without spending significant quality time with their mate, they run the risk of losing their connection. Over time, that strong emotional bond wanes until the marriage relationship becomes more like that of roommates or business partners. Hardly what I would want from a marriage!

I immediately thought of a book written by renowned marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman entitled "The Five Love Languages" (http://www.fivelovelanguages.com).
In this book he sorts expressions of affection into 5 broad categories:
1. Words of affirmation (saying nice things)
2. Acts of service (doing nice things)
3. Physical touch
4. Gift giving
5. Quality time
Chapman says that while people use and accept all five of these categories, most people tend to have one or two which they prefer over the rest.

My primary love language is quality time, so the talk about busyness on the radio really resonated with me: More than anything else, I want to spend time with the people I love, and I feel most loved when those people choose to spend time with me. Other methods like gift-giving or words of affirmation mean very little to me, all I want is to be close to my friends and family.

Of course, I also am an overachiever, getting myself involved in too many projects, constantly filling my schedule with more activities. For instance, I'm currently a full-time nanny, teaching 4 private music students, working in the computer lab at my alma mater on Saturdays, playing in my community orchestra, and teaching Sunday School at my church. Every single day of my week is spoken for, and at least three, sometimes four evenings are also taken. I have become so busy that when I do get a spare moment, I just want to take some time for myself and decompress. This makes it really hard to get together with friends, spend time with my family, or even see my fiance (who has an equally busy schedule, might I add).

I understand that spending large amounts of time with people is probably not absolutely necessary in order to maintain friendships. A quick phone call, email, note on facebook, card, present, or something else could probably help fill the gaps between the times you see each other, but my principal mode of communication when it comes to friendships is time. Everything else seems second-rate (this may not be true for you, if your preferred love language is not quality time).

I am really starting to feel the effects of this in my life! When I am around my fiance, I am so happy, things just feel right. When I'm going about my week, however, working my jobs, not seeing him much (if at all), just doing my own thing, I almost start to feel like I'm single again. The less time I get to spend with him, or the longer I go without talking to him, the weaker our bond starts to feel, at least for me. Don't get me wrong, I love him very much all the time, I never doubt that, but the reality and significance of our relationship starts to fade unless I get to see him, and not just see him, spend time with him. It doesn't matter what we do, we don't have to go to a fancy restaurant or do something exciting. I'm usually more than happy to go grocery shopping, take a walk, sit and read with him, whatever, just so long as we're together.

It works this way with friends, too. This sounds obvious, but my dearest friends are the ones I spend the most time with. When I spend less time with my friends--even my really close ones--we start to drift apart. I find it's harder to talk to them, harder to feel the same connection. But of course, after I get to hang out with them again, I feel much better.

This really forces me to think about where my priorities lie. I know that my busy schedule can be detrimental to my relationships, so I have to decide which is more important to me: my various jobs and other activities, or my friends and family? So this month I am pausing to consider my schedule. While I love what I do, and find all of my activities to be fun and fulfilling (I wouldn't do them otherwise), I hope that the things and activities I love will never take precedence over the people--living beings, with hearts and minds--that I love so much!

What about you??? What do you think about busyness? What is your primary love language? I'd love to know! :)

The Life of Emily, as of Monday, September 14.

LIVING AT HOME:
I'm really enjoying being back at home with my parents. According to popular culture, moving back in with the folks after graduation is pretty lame, but I'm having a blast! My parents are cool, funny and insightful people that I love very much. And it helps that I have a specific end-date for my stay with them: May 22, 2010. I know that when I marry Gordon, my relationship with my parents will change, and I won't see them as often (especially if we have to move for his residency). Because of this, I am enjoying every moment with my beloved Mom and Dad, so happy that I can be close to them while planning a wedding!

It's been fun doing the simple things like going grocery shopping, cooking dinner, and doing the dishes (I commented to my parents one evening that it was nice to be at home, since I haven't lived in a place with a dishwasher for 6 years. My father replied "Neither have we, you've been at school!"). I love just living life with the people I love, doing everyday things and just being close to them.

JOB:
This is my 6th week as a full-time nanny for Reid, my 16-month-old next-door neighbor. Although the first week or so was exhausting, I am amazed at how quickly we both adjusted to each other! He is such a sweet, cute and smart little boy, who only seems to grow more so every day. I've had many people assure me that "it's easier with your own children" but I have a tremendous amount of affection for Reid! I find myself missing him over the weekend, and in the evenings, if I hear him crying (remember, we're right next door), I want to run over there and help! I absolutely adore Reid and couldn't ask for a better job! If taking care of your own children is even better than this, I can't wait!!!

I am amazed at how much he learns and develops every day. It's little milestones like being able to stack blocks, matching shapes to the correct holes, or learning a new sound to babble (he is so close to talking!) that get me so excited! I am fascinated to watch his physical, cognitive and verbal skills develop, and it has been even more astonishing to see his personality develop! Taking care of Reid has proven to be an incredibly fulfilling job!

MUSIC and ACADEMICS:
I've been playing violin with a local community orchestra, and I get to solo with them in March, playing "Winter" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons! I'm also playing in my church orchestra, which plays for service about once a month. I have 3 private students that I teach in the evenings, all of whom are fun to teach, and I even have a private theory student! I get to spend 2 hours every week teaching him written and aural theory as well as giving him some historical context. It has been a great way to keep up my teaching skills and brush up on some of my music history as well!

In an attempt to keep my mind from atrophying too much now that I'm out of school, I am trying to find the discipline to read. Now, this is not an easy thing when most of your day is spent wrangling a toddler, and when you do get a quiet moment, you'd rather just crash. I'm much more motivated if it's a topic that I find to be relevant to my life. As such, my current reading projects are Suzuki's "Ability Development from Age Zero," and "The First Two Years," a parent's guide loaned to me by a friend from church. I'm thinking that my next reading project should perhaps be something music cognition related... I have a book on musical comprehension in children, maybe that's next! ;)

CHURCH:
I am so glad to be back at the Moody Church! It really feels like coming home. When it came to picking a group to be part of, my first instinct was to go to the class I was familiar with: the university ministry. Of course, now that I'm no longer a student, I wasn't so sure that I belonged, but Gordon and I share a heart for college ministry, so I wanted to stay involved in some way. After meeting with the pastor who runs the ministry, I've been asked to continue coming to Crossroads, acting as sort of a "big sister" to the undergraduate girls. I don't have an official title, but the goal is for me to be intentional about getting to know the younger girls and building friendships, with the hope that next year, if Gordon and I are still in the area (Lord willing), we can take on a more official role as "adult mentors."

I am also getting ready to start teaching SUNDAY SCHOOL in the 1st-3rd grade department! I loved teaching Sunday School while in Bloomington, and I can't wait to get started here in Chicago!

RELATIONSHIP:
It is SO NICE to finally be close to Gordon!!! Even though he lives in the city and I live in the suburbs and we both have busy schedules, we see each other a lot in comparison to what it used to be. When you're used to seeing your fiance once every 2 months, seeing him once or maybe even twice a week is such a treat! We usually get to see each other Sundays at church (if he's not working in the hospital, that is). My train gets me downtown really early, so we like to meet for coffee before service. Our Sunday morning coffee dates are always something to look forward to!

Our big exciting news is that we officially start PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING next week!!! Moody Church has a 10-week course that all couples have to take if they want to be married at the church. We are looking forward to taking that next step on the path towards marriage, and I am excited for the opportunity to learn even more about each other. There's something about this class that makes our upcoming wedding seem that much closer and more tangible, which is really exciting!!! :)

WEDDING PLANNING:
We have a photographer!!! I'm so glad! It was kind of becoming a headache: We found someone we really liked, but he turned out to be too expensive. We found someone we liked in our price range, but he was unavailable. But I guess the third time's the charm, because we found someone we liked in our price range who was available, and we met with them last night and they're awesome! It's a husband and wife team. They both graduated from Moody Bible Institute with music degrees (!), and the husband is a youth pastor. They're really nice, and it turns out we even have several mutual friends! I am so thankful that we persevered in our search!

With a little over 8 months until the big day, I still feel like there is TONS left to do, but I've already finished a lot:

I have a groom (Hooray!)
We have a wedding date
We have a ceremony and reception location
We have a pastor to officiate
We have an organist (woohoo!)
I have a dress (waiting for it to arrive...)
We've chosen our bridal party
I'm close to choosing bridesmaid dresses
We have a (very long) guest list (now to find addresses...)
We have a photographer

That's a lot! The big things remaining are food, flowers and invitations, I think.
This is totally do-able!
It helps to remember my hopes for the day:
1. To get married
2. To be able to celebrate with family, friends and loved ones
3. to praise God, from whom all blessings flow!!!

My goal for the week.

I subscribe to two daily devotional emails from www.backtothebible.org. One of them is by Charles Haddon Spurgeon, taken from his book "Morning and Evening." I thought I'd share the charge that confronted me this morning as I turned on my computer:

Being Useful

"Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the tents of Kedar."
--Psalm 120:5

As a Christian you have to live in the midst of an ungodly world, and it is of little use for you to cry "Woe is me." Jesus did not pray O that you should be taken out of the world, and what He did not pray for you need not desire. Better far in the Lord's strength to meet the difficulty, and glorify Him in it. The enemy is ever on the watch to detect inconsistency in your conduct; be therefore very holy. Remember that the eyes of all are upon you, and that more is expected from you than from other men. Strive to give no occasion for blame. Let your goodness be the only fault they can discover in you. Like Daniel, compel them to say of you, "We shall not find any occasion against this Daniel, except we find it against him concerning the law of his God." Seek to be useful as well as consistent.

Perhaps you think, "If I were in a more favourable position I might serve the Lord's cause, but I cannot do any good where I am"; but the worse the people are among whom you live, the more need have they of your exertions; if they be crooked, the more necessity that you should set them straight; and if they be perverse, the more need have you to turn their proud hearts to the truth. Where should the physician be but where there are many sick? Where is honour to be won by the soldier but in the hottest fire of the battle? And when weary of the strife and sin that meets you on every hand, consider that all the saints have endured the same trial. They were not carried on beds of down to heaven, and you must not expect to travel more easily than they. They had to hazard their lives unto the death in the high places of the field, and you will not be crowned till you also have endured hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. Therefore, "stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong."

Learning by Osmosis?

Reid is a sweet little boy, who is very bright. I find myself looking at him, thinking about his potential, wondering what he'll be like when he's older, wondering what he'll talk about, what his favorite subject will be in school, all the wonderful things he will know. Then I think about what I hope he'll learn during my time with him to prepare him for the long-term. I hope he'll grow up to be a polite boy, so I want to teach him to share, and to say 'please' and 'thank you.' I hope he'll love to read, so I need to engage him in books early, and teach him the letters of the alphabet. I hope he'll be good at math and science, so he needs to learn to count, and to be observant and inquisitive.

Of course, children learn by absorbing from their environment. You can't expect a child as small as Reid to learn something he's only told once or twice, or even something he hears every day. You absorb something you're marinated in, something that surrounds you constantly, something that covers you so completely at all times to the point that you have no choice but to soak it up. Well, I'M his environment. It's just him and me, all day, five days a week. Any stimulus that he gets, he gets from me. This means that it's up to me not only to tell him things once in a while, or even to make sure to do a little reading or counting or something every day, but to saturate him with the things I hope he will learn. I have to exhibit the behavior I want him to emulate. I have to say 'please' and 'thank you' consistently, every time I hand something to him, or vice versa. When we're on a walk, even though he's in a stroller and I know when to cross the street, I have to stop at every crossing and talk him through the routine of looking for cars. Suddenly, everything we see or play with must be described by shape, size and color, every animal must be paired with its respective sound, the alphabet song is sung during every break in activity, and WE COUNT EVERYTHING!!!
Of course, the same is true for what we want our children to learn about God. To borrow a phrase from an anti-smoking PSA: "If you don't talk to your kids about God, who will?" I am learning to appreciate Deuteronomy 6 in a whole new way: "Impress [these commandments] upon your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you stand up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them to your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses, and on your gates." He really meant talk about them ALL THE TIME! Don't be shy, and don't be silent! Talk about God's attributes, His holiness, His perfection, His justice, His mercy, His love, His awesome power, His wisdom, His commandments, everything, during every part of the day, during every activity. Don't let it be limited to Sunday School, or a Bible story or two before bed, or when the subject comes up. God didn't command the Israelites to have a nightly family devotion time, He said to make every moment an opportunity to teach His truth, no matter what you're doing. Talk about them when you're eating dinner, when you're walking to school, when you're doing dishes, when you're playing outside, when you're doing homework, when you're doing chores, when you're providing discipline, all the time. And don't just talk about them, Deuteronomy also says to display them in prominent places. Write them everywhere. Make them conspicuous. Make it so the kids can't get away from them. These truths have to be impossible to miss. They have to hear them all the time, see them everywhere, and most importantly, they have to see us living them. Children learn from their environment, and as their primary caregiver, we ARE their environment. No pressure or anything.

This amount of responsibility overwhelms me. I can talk big all I want, but I haven't been consistent. I haven't been talking about God every moment, I haven't even been thinking about talking about Him that much. It's just too much to keep track of all of it all the time. I can't do it myself. I have to learn to marinate myself in His word so that I can become more of a channel for Reid and for my own future children. This is the kind of task I can only take on if I am truly walking humbly with my God.

Looking Forward, Backward, and UPWARD!

Psalm 61:1-5
¹ Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
² From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
³ For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
⁴ I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Selah
⁵ For you have heard my vows, O God;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

What an incredible blessing to have a heritage of those who fear the name of the Lord! Psalm 103 says "But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to their children's children." I never met my great-grandparents, and my grandparents live rather far away, so I am not always aware of the numerous benefits I receive from previous generations. But I was raised by wonderful, godly parents, and they were both raised in loving homes where Christ was honored, because their parents were brought up by God-fearing Christians, too.
Now, I am very proud of my heritage, loving the traditions, food, language and history of the various nationalities of my great-grandparents, but my family's greatest legacy is not in ethnicity or culture. Ephesians 2 says "But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one... So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God's household... For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name" From generation to generation, my family has impressed upon their children the magnificence of God, the mercy of Christ, and the imperative to follow, love, honor and serve the LORD, from whom all blessings flow. I am a member of the household of God, as are my parents, my grandparents, and my great-grandparents. This is the foundation my family has been based on for over a century. This is my heritage.
Such great history brings with it a high calling. The message has been passed down through the generations to me, and now it is my responsibility to pass it on. As David said in Psalm 76:
² I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old-
³ what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.
⁴ We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done.
⁵ He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,
⁶ so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
⁷ Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.
The responsibility is huge. I am realizing that if my children's hearts depend on my faithful example and witness, they're in trouble, because I am not consistent in my spiritual life. I am not consistently a person worth emulating, nor do I feel qualified to teach--to be the primary source of truth in a child's life! For this reason, I find myself echoing David's cry from Psalm 61 (see the beginning of the post), that God would hear my prayer, that He would lead me to a rock that is higher than I, that I would dwell in HIS tents forever and sing beneath the shelter of His wings. I can't manage such a responsibility on my own, but I am so thankful that God, who has been our dwelling place throughout all generations, is willing to be my dwelling place, as well!!!

Job 37:14

Encountered in my reading today:



"Stand and consider the wonders of God."



http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job+38&version=NASB

Patience...

Phew! After a full morning of oatmeal throwing, running around outside, walking to the library for STORY TIME, counting cars on the TWO freight trains that stopped us on the way home, lunch (mashed potatoes and babies don't mix...), cleaning up after lunch, and one final tantrum before nap (the baby, not me), the house if finally quiet, and I am sitting down at my computer with a cup of coffe.

Nannying is exhausting!!! It requires so much energy, perseverance, care, thought, and above all, PATIENCE! I have always thought of myself as a pretty patient person. Sure, I do like to move quickly, and would rather not have to wait, but I am usually happy to do so, willing to sit and listen, even if there might be somewhere else I was hoping to be. But since starting this nanny job, I have realized that when it all comes down to it, I really have very little patience whatsoever.

With a 15-month-old baby, every little task is a time-consuming ordeal. For instance, washing hands in the sink, which takes me only a few seconds, becomes a lengthy playtime for Reid, who wants nothing to do with soap and scrubbing, and would rather sit on the counter and play with the water dribbling out from the faucet, running his fingers under the stream, shaking his hand and watching water droplets fly, then doing the same with the other hand, over and over and over again. And he's not even done once you turn off the water. No, he sees what you did, and goes for the faucet, wanting to turn it back on. It's a good day when he doesn't also get distracted by all the other things sitting on the counter by the sink! In the back of my mind, I am thinking about all the other fun and interesting things Reid and I could be doing if he would just hurry up and be done in the sink, but in his mind, he's already doing something fun and wonderful, and he's in no hurry to move on just yet!

Going down stairs is another patience-builder for me. He lives in a split-level house, and there are four steps leading down into his bedroom from the main level, as well as four steps to the side door that we use to go outside. This makes for a lot of stair-climbing. Now, Reid is just a little toddler who has only been walking for about two months, so stairs are kind of tricky. These few simple steps require Reid to stop at the top of the stairs, sit down on the floor, consider the task at hand, get on his hands and knees, turn around in a little half-circle in order to back down the stairs properly, and then the descent begins. He typically takes one step at a time, pausing to sit and take in the sights on each individual step, all the while looking ever so proud of himself for being able to navigate such a perilous obstacle. Meanwhile, I'm standing at the bottom of the stairs, desperately trying to resist the urge to just pick him up and put him down at the bottom. But, while that would satisfy me in getting the job done sooner and being able to move on, it does nothing for Reid, who is learning and developing motor skills on each step.

What have I learned so far? Life is made of moments. I tend to spend much of my energy hurrying to the next prominent moment, while Reid is teaching me to slow down and enjoy the moment we are in, with all the interest and learning that comes with it, no matter what we're doing. I sheepishly recall earlier this summer telling a friend that "Every experience we have in life, no matter how troublesome or mundane, is an opportunity for us to learn more about God, and to be shaped more closely to the image of Christ. Paul meant what he said in Romans 8:28: 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.'" I guess hand-washing and stair-climbing are no exception.

Back-To-School!

This morning as I logged on to facebook, I was bombarded by "first day of school!" posts, both positive and negative. The public schools in my area, as well as both of my alma matters started classes this week, and it is finally hitting me that--for the first time I can remember--I am NOT going back to school!

Now, some of you would cheer at such a prospect, but those who know me a bit better will understand that I have mixed feelings about this.

Back-to-school means so much more than just more classes. Back-to-school means shopping for school supplies--there is very little more satisfying than looking over your brand-new pencils, pens, highlighters, an the like. Oh, the joy of matching notebooks and folders, color-coordinated for each subject! But even more exciting than this is looking forward to the prospect of new teachers and new faces, reuniting with old friends you've been missing all summer, and of course, wondering what great secrets of the universe you will uncover in the coming semester.

The new school year comes with a set of new resolutions as well: vows to go to bed earlier, to eat healthier, to start projects earlier, not the night before they're due, the promises go on and on, filled with hope that this year, you will be a better student, become a better person.

As for me, I am realizing that I don't have this fresh-start to look forward to. The schedule and habits that I have been keeping over the summer will have no magic "reset" button when I head back to class. Transitions are times of reevaluation and new beginnings, but I am missing that transition date and all the self-examination and resolve that come with it. Without the pressure of a deadline, the projects I started this summer are left half-done, and I find myself feeling like I need to get back-to-something!

This is no excuse for me to be lazy. With September right around the corner, I can choose to make this my own time of introspection and resolutions, fresh starts and new adventures. Even though I'm no longer in school, I can still continue learning, reading and studying, but it will be more difficult. My nanny job isn't exactly in my degree field (you can't really talk to a 15-month-old about secondary dominants), so I have to find other ways to keep my mind stimulated. I am teaching a few private violin students, tutoring a high-school student in music theory, and playing in the community symphony. I am thankful for these opportunities to continue playing and teaching, and the way they necessitate my continued practice and review of the things I studied in school, but I'd like to do more than just review, I want to keep learning. So, starting this fall, I promise to put more effort into finding topics that I am interested in learning about, and of course finding the discipline to do so! There, how was that for a back-to-nothing resolution?

I'll admit, I will miss the school supplies... Maybe I can find an excuse to buy a new set of highlighters, or maybe some color-coordinated notebooks...

Career Changes...

This past May, I received my master's degree in Music Theory from Indiana University. The typical course of study for theory is to continue to a Ph.D, but I decided not to pursue it, at least for the time being, for many reasons. My main reasons were that I wanted to return to Chicago to be closer to my family and my fiance, and if I committed to several more years of grad school, we would most likely have to postpone our wedding (heaven forbid)!

So this Summer found me living with my parents in the suburbs, looking for work. Music theory is a subject taught primarily at the college level, though it can also be taught in high school or through community music schools. Of course, because of the economic downturn, not only had the area univiersities issued hiring freezes, but the community schools were also struggling to retain students, as many families were trying to cut back on expenses in these hard times. I sent out resume after resume, contacting schools, institutions and everyone I could think of, to no avail. The lingering question in my brain was: Was it really the right decision to leave grad school? I couldn't help but think that I would be more marketable as a teacher if I had my Ph.D, and of course, I would remain in school a few more years, giving the economy a chance to recover. This summer was a summer of frustration and doubt, but there was always plenty to be thankful for, because I was home with my parents, who graciously let me stay with them rent-free, and being unemployed, I had copious amounts of free time to chat with friends, spend time with my fiance, or help my parents.

My decision not to pursue a Ph.D. was made primarily because of my desire to become a wife, and someday a mother. You don't need a doctorate to do that, right? Of course, I currently am neither a wife, nor a mother, nor am I a student, and technically, I have no "career," either. I felt an intense lack of purpose, like I was in limbo, waiting for something to happen: a teaching position, my wedding, children, something.

A job finally did come along, but not the kind I was expecting. We had brand new neighbors move in next door to us: a husband, wife, 15-month-old baby, and a dog. The wife was preparing to return to work for the first time since the baby was born, and they were looking for childcare. Of course I jumped at the opportunity: I love children, I needed a job, and they were right next door--you can't get more convenient than that! So now I am a full-time nanny, taking care of a 15-month-old boy, and a sweet dog. 10 hours a day, 5 days a week I get to pretend to be a mommy, with a baby to take care of, a dog to look after, meals to cook, and a house to keep clean. And, I'm getting paid for it!

Of course, it can still seem like a bit of a disappointment to tell people that I just got my master's degree, have two years of teaching experience at the college level, and am currently a nanny. The other day, after telling a woman about how much I enjoyed spending my days playing with this sweet little boy, she wished me luck on my job search and said she sincerely hoped things would look up for me very soon. I guess it all comes down to personal priorities: I chose marriage over further schooling, and now I am thankful for the chance to learn and prepare a little bit before the big day comes! I sometimes feel shy telling people, because I know they will think I was hoping for something better. But really, what could be better than to spend my days playing with, caring for, and yes, teaching such a sweet little boy, all while gaining valuable experience and life lessons? And boy, am I learning a lot from this guy! But that's another post! Right now I have a little boy who is waking up from his nap...