An Adventure on Every Page!

Kaja's imagination is most active in the morning after breakfast. I always feel a little bit like a lazy mom, letting her play so long by herself, but I love to just sit with my coffee and watch her go! She's off in her own little world having "adventures" and the things she says and does are simply delightful!

This morning, as she does most mornings, she put on her favorite pair of shoes (that are still too big for her, so we can't wear them out yet) and announced "I'm going on an adventure now!"
Do you want to know where today's adventure is taking us? "To the LIBRARY!" Kaja set up an imaginary library by her bookshelves and is going back and forth, collecting a stack of books, "taking them home" to read them all out loud, then returning for another stack (we're still working on returning the books themselves to the library). She has most of her books memorized, and the few she doesn't know yet, she just wings it from the pictures, and that, too, is quite a show! I just love that her idea of an adventure is going to a place where she can read as much as she wants. She is currently working on book #19. And now she's pulled out another book with lots of words, and is calling me over to read with her. Warms my heart!

Who's Teaching Who?

I get to teach the Kindergarten-2nd grade sunday school class at my church once or twice a month. I love getting to spend time with the kids, and I've always loved teaching in general, but the thing I find most humbling is that, even though my audience is 5-7 year-olds, and the stories are the same ones I've heard since infancy, I am still learning and benefitting from the same truths that I am teaching to the children. The craziest part is that I usually don't realize how much I needed to hear that lesson myself until Sunday morning, as the words are coming out of my mouth and the Holy Spirit is pricking my heart and saying "listen!" It makes me marvel and rejoice at how timeless the truths of God are. It is simple enough for a child to understand, yet deep and complex and meaningful enough that we will never be able to plumb the depths of it's wisdom.

This week I taught the story of Jonah, and boy was I convicted! I felt like such a hypocrite, telling these things to the class when I myself hadn't been thinking about or following these words for much of my week. I'm so thankful to God that He never stops teaching me, and always finds creative ways to do it!

Here are a few of the lessons we all learned yesterday:

1. God wants us to marvel at His creation. And He wants us to remember that it all points back to Him. Anytime we admire stunning beauty, magnificent power, awe-inspiring magnitude, perfect order, mind-bending creativity, heart-warming goodness, or anything else that makes us smile or think "wow!" that it all comes from HIM, and is just a dim reflection, a tiny preview of His beauty, His power, His magnitude, His order, His creativity and His goodness.

2. God made the world, and He called it good, and he cares for everything He has made, but He cares most about people. He cares about even the WORST people. Jonah was angry at God for allowing a shade-giving plant to die, but the thought of an entire city being destroyed in a fiery explosion didn't bother him at all. Isn't that the same for me? Don't I so easily get frustrated when I lose something that provides me with comfort or makes my life easier? If I care so much about these things, then the least I could do is care for people more--even the hard-to-love people that drive me crazy. If God cared about the people of Nineveh, who were sworn enemies of God and His people, the same people who attacked and enslaved the Israelites, then I can show compassion on those around me, no matter how frustrated with them I feel.

3. Absolutely nothing happens outside the sovereign will of God. There are some things that He actively ordains to happen, and some things that He simply allows to happen (that's where our free will comes in), but if He really doesn't want something to happen, it simply cannot happen. God actively sent Jonah to Nineveh, and when Jonah tried to refuse, he was stopped in the most remarkable supernatural ways. Not only was there a storm that stopped as soon as he was tossed overboard, but he was somehow preserved alive in the belly of a giant fish for days before being vomited back onto dry land, of all things. I mean, seriously? There's no doubt in Jonah's mind how this all happened, and you'd better believe that the next time God told him to go, he went!

4. It is possible to obey God's commands with a bad attitude, but the only person suffering is you.  (see chapter 4) I really needed an attitude check last week, and this was a pretty good kick-in-the-pants reminder!

So what about you? What and how has God been teaching you these days? :)

Reviewing my Reflections from the 'Refuel' Retreat. Or just: "Remember."

Gordon and I have the privilege of being "adult mentors" for Crossroads, our church's university ministry. We're still trying to wrap our heads around the fact that we are passing off as adults, much less mentors, but that's not what this post is about. Every year the group has a weekend Fall retreat in a beautiful rural area by a lake in Michigan. There's always great teaching, worship, bonding, new friendships, hilarious skits, beautiful scenery, and generally a very spiritually refreshing and encouraging time (hence, the title "Refuel").

The last time we attended the retreat (2 years ago), we took our then 5-month-old colicky daughter, and it was a nightmare. She didn't sleep well in her own bed, and the new environment had her freaked out like nobody's business. She screamed the whole 3.5 hour car ride up there, refused to sleep, and would cry unless I held her (and I had to be standing and rocking/bouncing, too. No sitting allowed). I spent the entire weekend holding a fussy baby, spending both nights in the glider rocking chair that Divine Providence placed in the living room of the house we were staying. Then she screamed all the way home, too. Not a refreshing time.

This year we decided NOT to take children! Kaja stayed with her grandparents, and the little guy we're hosting through Safe Families stayed with another host family for the weekend (they had hosted him before and were so excited to see this sweet baby again!). Poor Gordon had to work, so I was on my own for the Retreat. It was weird not having my family there, and I went through a little withdrawal, but after I got over the shakes, I determined to make the most of my time.

The speaker for the weekend was Peter Frey, a Crossorads alum. I was thinking of adjectives to describe his teaching, and I came up with "passionate" and "biblical." Then I looked at his website and realized I wasn't the only one who thought that (it's so true)! He had excellent things to say, and it was an incredible blessing not just to hear him teach, but also to reconnect a little bit with his wife, Mary, who is pretty much awesome in every way (we were in the same small group once upon a time)!

The theme for the weekend was "Hearing God's Voice." In the first session, Peter reflected on the way God seems so easy to hear and focus on when we're at a retreat, away from the stress and distractions, out enjoying creation far from the hustle and bustle and noise of our daily lives. He said it wasn't that God was speaking louder in those moments, but that we were actually taking the time to listen. One of the overarching points for the weekend was that God never stops speaking to us.

There was a significant amount of free time where I had the opportunity to ponder what we had heard. I found my mind wandering to the last time I was here at the retreat, struggling with the burden of a colicky infant. I began to reflect on how much things had changed in the last two years. I thought about how far we had come, how miraculous it was that we all survived, but most of all, I remembered the way God spoke to me in those times. It was then, in the darkest, loneliest moments, when I didn't think I could physically make it another hour, when I was at the end of my rope and feeling more desperate than I had ever felt before, that God ministered to me in the most profound ways. Help is most appreciated by those who are most in need. It was in the dark solitude of the night watches that He reassured me "I will never leave you, nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5); "The Lord who watches over you... will neither slumber nor sleep" (Ps. 121); "The Lord is my light and my salvation" (Ps. 27). It was when my strength was ready to give way, when I was exhausted and shaking from fatigue that I remembered it was "the Everlasting God, Creator of the ends of the earth" who "gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40).  It was then I was able to say "my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Ps. 73).

Once the door was opened, memories flooded back to me. Memories of all the times I really felt like I heard God's voice. As I thought back over the years, over the trials, the frustrations, the triumphs, the blessings, the highs and lows and every moment that I had found myself standing in awe of God, I realized something. Just like Peter had said, God never stops speaking those things. It seems so obvious, so simple, but GOD. NEVER. CHANGES.

So think back. Think about all the times you've been truly moved by God. Think about the comfort you've received when you were hurting. Think about the times you said "it would take a miracle to pull this off!" and a miracle happened. Think about the days you were so humbled by the tremendous grace He showed. Think about the times you lost yourself in the marvelous beauty of His creation. Every time in your life that His power made you tremble, His goodness made you dance for joy, His forgiveness set you free, His people became your family, His faithfulness made you want to declare it to the world--all of the truly awe-inspiring moments where you realized you had truly seen God.

And now remember that He "is the same, yesterday, today, and forever." (Heb. 13) God says "I the Lord do not change" (Malachi 3:6). He is all of those things, all the time. He is all of those things right now. Right. Now.

And yet today, only 5 days out from the retreat, I find myself already running on empty. I came back to real life, and it hit hard. Both kids came home with nasty viruses (different ones at that, so I get to worry about them giving it to the other!), Gordon was at a conference in Seattle, and I was confronted with the very worst of myself. Anxiously worrying about the children, growing bitter at the sleepless nights bouncing from one sick bed to another, patience wearing thin and temper flaring as I struggled to meet the needs of my tired, fussy little ones. This afternoon I threw up my hands and said "Everything I got out of the retreat is already gone!" And that's when I realized (once again) what an idiot I was. Because the truth I got out of the retreat was that it doesn't matter where you are right now, because God never changes. He is always at His best and His greatest, whether we realize it or not. 

So my goal for tonight, and tomorrow, and next week, is just one thing: to remember. Not even to remember one specific thing, just to remember God. Anything about God. Because I know that all of it is always true. "The Lord is righteous in all His ways, and faithful in all he does." (Ps. 145) "in Him there is no darkness." (1 John 1)

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.

He Giveth More Grace (by Annie J. Flint)

1. He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
   He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
   To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
   To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
2. When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
   When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
   When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
   Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
3. Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
   Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
   Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
   The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
4. His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
   His power no boundary known unto men;
   For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
   He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Great is Thy Faithfulness (Thomas O. Chisholm)

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
there is no shadow of turning with thee;
thou changest not, thy compassions, they fail not;
as thou hast been thou forever will be.
Refrain:
Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
sun, moon and stars in their courses above
join with all nature in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. Refrain

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside! Refrain

Nebulizer treatments for everyone!!!
These kids are real troopers, and I'm so glad they're on the mend!
Praise God for modern medicine!

Pantry Meals!

One of the projects I've been working on for some time is the idea of "pantry meals." These are a collection of "emergency meals" comprised of non-perishable or frozen ingredients. The main idea is to have all the necessary parts on hand for those days when life catches up to you and you don't have any dinner plans or time/money to head to the grocery store.

I use these myself a lot when life gets crazy, especially during the seasons when we have Safe Families placements in our home. I've also started bringing "kits" to friends when they could use a little extra help (new baby, moving, death in the family, general stress, etc). Most of the ingredients are canned or dry goods, which are pretty inexpensive, and they don't take up any of that valuable freezer space! The idea is to have all the materials on hand, to use anytime you want without worrying about spoiling. I wanted to share these ideas, with ingredients, recipes, and sources, in the hopes that it makes life a little easier for someone else.

I'd like to add a little disclaimer: some might express concern over the "processed foods" used in a few of the recipes (not to mention the sodium content of any canned food). Don't worry, my family doesn't eat like this every day. Like I said, these are "emergency meals" for when I don't have time to buy fresh produce or cook meals from scratch. The way I see it, these options are way better than fast food.

Prep notes: I take a little time to prep and freeze some of the perishable items in advance, so they're stored up when I need them. I usually buy a few onions to dice and freeze in bags containing 1/2 and onion each (since that's what most recipes call for). I also buy a big bag of shredded cheese and split it into 1 cup portions to freeze. We usually buy frozen chicken breasts to use for these recipes, and I also will buy ground beef and freeze it in advance (I understand you can brown it first, then freeze it, but I just freeze it raw and thaw it to cook. Not sure which one keeps better). I also have a massive jar of minced garlic from Costco that lives in my fridge. I much prefer fresh garlic, but that jar is a lifesaver in a pinch, and that's what these recipes are for, right?

What about you? Do you have any stand-by/emergency meals? I'm not gonna lie, a jar of spaghetti sauce, or a box of mac 'n cheese can be a lifesaver on a crazy day (add frozen spinach to either of those for an extra veggie kick)!

Chicken Pot Pie

(from "arishaun" at http://ask.metafilter.com/156778/What-are-your-favourite-recipes-that-use-no-fresh-ingredients)

This is one of my favorites because it is so quick to put together and the results are yummy! I've even served this to (surprise) company a few times!

1 can low sodium Campbells/condensed cream of chicken soup

1 can low sodium mixed veggies 

1 12.5oz can of white breast chicken meat 

1 ready made pie crust (the refrigerated ones that come rolled up in a box, like these. They can be frozen for quite a while!)

1) mix canned ingredients (don't drain the veggies, break chicken into smaller chunks)

2) place one layer of pie crust in pan, add filling, cover with second layer of crust.

3) Bake at 375 for 30 minutes.

One Dish Chicken & Rice Bake

(from Campbell's Kitchen)

1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup

1 cup water (just use the soup can, leave 1cm at top)

3/4 cup uncooked white rice

1/4 tsp. paprika

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1.25 lbs chicken breast halves (another thing you can keep in the freezer)

1 can of veggies, drained (or frozen veggies), optional.

1. Mix soup, water, rice, paprika, pepper and veggies in a 2-quart shallow baking dish.

2. top with chicken (thawed). Season with additional paprika and cover.

3. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until chicken is cooked through and rice is tender. 

4. Let stand 10 minutes and stir rice before serving.

Broccoli, Chicken and Cheese Casserole

(Another favorite, compiled from many different versions across the internet!)

1 can condensed broccoli cheese soup

1 cup water (just use the soup can, leave 1cm at top)

3/4 cup uncooked white rice

1 12.5oz can chicken (drained)

frozen chopped broccoli

1/2 onion, diced (this ingredient you can buy frozen or do yourself)

2 Tbs. butter or oil

1/2 sleeve crushed Ritz crackers

1 cup grated cheese (cheese freezes nicely, too)

1. Preheat oven to 375

2. Saute onion in butter/oil.

3. Combine onions, soup, water, rice, chicken and broccoli in a shallow baking dish

4. sprinkle crackers and cheese over top

5. bake at 375 for 45 minutes.

Chili Cheeseburger Casserole

(modified from Taste of Home's Chili Cheese Dog Casserole)

This is another family favorite, but requires quite a few more "perishable" ingredients. The beef, onions, and cheese can all be frozen. Milk and eggs for the cornbread mix are just something I need to always have on hand.

1 can chili

1 can vegetables (I prefer green beans)

1 package Jiffy cornbread mix 

• 1/3 cup milk
• 1 egg

1 lb ground beef 

1/2 cup chopped onions

1 cup shredded cheese (divided)

chili powder and garlic powder to taste

1. prepare corn bread batter according to package directions. Spread half of batter in a greased 8-inch square baking dish; set aside.

2. In a large skillet, brown the beef and saute the onions.

3. stir in chili, drained veggies, garlic powder and chili powder. 

4. Once heated through, stir in 3/4 cup of cheese

5. Spoon into baking dish, top with remaining cornbread batter, top with cheese.

6. bake, uncovered, at 350 for 28-32 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Chicken in Peanut Sauce

(sauce recipe from Cooks.com)

2 Tbsp. smooth peanut butter

2 Tbsp. soy sauce

1-2 cloves minced garlic (can use jarred minced garlic, or garlic powder if you don't have fresh)

1/4 cup water

1 Tbsp. brown sugar

juice from half a lemon (I never have lemons on hand, so I usually leave this part out, no worries)

1 can chicken (or use cubed fresh/frozen chicken if you have it on hand)

Frozen green beans or other vegetable (optional, but I like to try to have veggies in as much as possible!)

rice

In a non-stick pan, combine all ingredients except chicken and vegetables, stirring constantly over medium heat until peanut butter has melted. You can do this in the microwave too, for about 30-40 seconds.

Stir in chicken and vegetables and heat through (if using fresh/frozen chicken, stir-fry in oil to cook through before combining).

Serve over rice.

Coconut Milk Curry Chicken

(Delicious recipe found here)

4 boneless chicken thighs, cubed (I use breasts because it's what we have in the freezer)

1 cup sliced onions

1 potato, cubed (this is the only "fresh" ingredient you need on hand, and I think you can even get canned potatoes if you really want)

5 cloves of garlic, chopped (best if it's fresh, but you can use the jarred minced garlic)

1 can coconut milk

2 Tbsp. curry powder

2 Tbsp. butter

Olive oil

Rice

1. In a large skillet, melt butter on low heat, then add curry powder

2. Add coconut milk and stir

3. In a separate skillet, saute garlic and onions in olive oil until translucent

4. add chicken to the onion mixture and brown.

5. add the onion/garlic/chicken mixture and potatoes to the coconut milk/curry mixture, increase heat and bring to a simmer.

6. Cover and reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer for 30 minute, or until chicken is cooked through.

Serve over rice.

Working together to mix ingredients!

What would YOU do?

Today, poor, stir-crazy Kaja was so excited to walk to the park, but decided to create a power struggle over her shoes, of all things! She LOVES shoes, and is so proud that she can put them on by herself now. I was shocked. You wouldn't expect "Come put on your shoes, please, so we can go to the park!" to incite rebellion, but today it did. I guess it was a reflection of the state of her heart at the moment, and a good picture of all our hearts, really. It seemed so easy: She wanted to go to the park, she likes to put on shoes, let's do one so we can go to the other. But she resisted. She just froze. When I called her again, she stubbornly sat down. When I asked her if she wanted to go to the park, she said "yes!" but she wouldn't budge. I gently reminded her several times that we couldn't go to the park if she didn't wear shoes, and she sat, immovable, silent. The more I coaxed, the harder she resisted until I finally announced that we weren't going to the park. You can imagine the devastation that followed.

I found myself throwing my hands up in frustration that my daughter couldn't see the common sense in the situation, but very quickly realized that, once again, I was looking at my own reflection.

Our Bible study just finished Deuteronomy, and I was struck by the clarity in Deuteronomy 30:11-20

 "Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach... No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."

It's so simple! Love and obey the Lord, because he is the source of life. Choose obedience and choose life. Any other choice is death. Shouldn't be hard, right? 

Right?

I recently illustrated this concept in the kindergarten-2nd grade Sunday school class this way: 

Imagine you're stranded out on the open ocean. There's no land in sight, you see sharks starting to circle, and you're sinking fast. Now imagine that a lifeboat comes for you. You scramble in and the captain says "I'm taking you home, all you have to do is stay in the boat and you'll be safe." Will you follow his directions? It would be so foolish to jump back in the water! The water means certain death, the boat is life.

It seems so simple, but over and over I make the choice to jump back in the water, to do things myself, to make my own way, under my own power. Every day I find myself treading water when there's a motorboat right there, waiting to take me home.

Colossians 1:16-17 says "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible... all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." He made me. He is the only reason these molecules are sticking together to form my body. How could I possibly think I am capable of doing anything apart from him? Moses put it so nicely above: "The Lord is your life."

Yet here we are, struggling to keep our heads above water, sinking fast in a sea of entropy and darkness, insisting that we are enough on our own. Oh, how we need a Rescuer!

Today, Kaja refused to obey my sensible request, so she didn't get to go to the park.

In my Sunday School illustration, the passengers who didn't stay in the boat never made it home.

In Exodus, the Israelites refused to obey the One True God who had proved Himself to them over and over, and an entire generation died in the wilderness, never making it to the promised land.

All of these stories have a destination, and so does ours. God is preparing an eternal kingdom, where we will live forever with a loving God in a magnificent and perfect world, free from all suffering and pain. But we've jumped ship. God is our life, our very source of being, but Isaiah says "everyone has turned to his own way." Romans says "all have sinned and fall short." None of us will make it to our destination if left to our own devices. 

When I look at it in this light, it seems so obvious. Rebellion is absolutely futile and foolish, yet our sinful nature constantly drives us deeper into our empty, helpless selves, and away from the promised Good that awaits. I watched my daughter shut down, throw up walls and grow increasingly miserable when she could have been playing in the sunshine at the park, all because she didn't want to put on shoes. Come to think of it, she probably did want to put on shoes, she just didn't want to obey me. 

When she calmed down, we talked (in a simplified way) about these things. I reminded her that when we rebel it is called sin, and that the punishment for sin is death. I confessed to her that mommy sins daily, too (she knows my shortcomings better than most!), but that God loves us so much that he sent Jesus to die in our place. He took our punishment so we don't have to die, and he came back to life so that we could live forever with him. He is our Rescuer, who has come to save us from the depths and lead us home.

Tonight, as I do most nights, I asked her what her "long name" is. "Kristjana," she answered. "Do you know what Kristjana means?" I ask. "Follow Jesus!" And with a kiss, I whisper into her ear the reason we gave her that name: "So you will never forget what is most important."

And that is what I pray for my headstrong, independent, capricious, feisty, stubborn, mercurial, determined, force-of-nature of a daughter: That when she finds herself lost and overcome (which, if she's my daughter, will probably be often), she will remember that whisper in her ear, telling her the Way home:

"Follow Jesus..."

Tale as old as Time.

My poor little girl spiked a high fever today out of nowhere (she is the queen of high temps and no other symptoms. What gives?!), so we had an impromptu movie afternoon. She's usually so busy that she doesn't have time to slow down for cuddles, so I secretly relish sick days where I get to curl up with her on the couch. Is that selfish?

Trying to get her to broaden her horizons beyond all-time favorite Studio Ghibli (Totoro and Kiki are totally awesome, but we know them by rote in 2 languages now), I proposed Beauty and the Beast. Here's how I pitched it to her:

"It's about a girl who loves to read books, and loves to help her daddy. She goes on an adventure with her horse, and makes lots of silly new friends!" She took the bait. I know how to play to my daughter's interests, all right!

She did NOT like the "'cary wolves," and was uneasy about the Beast, too (though she thought the talking clock was great!). We used the movie to talk about being kind to others, and what a difference that makes for people's feelings. Who knows how much she took away, but she did notice that both Beast and Belle were choosing to help each-other more and more throughout the film. It was neat.

Out of nowhere, she turned to me and said "Mommy, do you know that Belle loves the Beast?" I asked her how she knew that, and she said "Because the Beast takes care of her." Curious, I asked if she thought the Beast loved Belle, and why? She said "Yes, because she helps him."

It was interesting to hear her say that. We often talk to her about how Mommy and Daddy do things for her because we love her, so it's neat to hear these ideas percolating in her mind. Of course, her definition seems rather self-focused (not surprising, considering she's two. And human). She says each loves the other because the other does something for them. But I hope that eventually the true definition will come out and she will realize that love is not self-seeking. Someday, maybe I'll ask her how she knows Belle loves the Beast and she will reply "Because she helps the Beast"

This has always been one of my favorite Disney stories. I loved that Belle was a reader, and a daddy's girl (and daddy is an engineer, how cool is that?!), and totally NOT interested in boys! I found her the most relatable "princess" in my childhood as a tomboy/nerd. But that's not the only thing that resonated with me.

Everyone makes fun of this movie and says it's just "Stockholm Syndrome," but here's what I saw:

Belle willingly gives herself up as a ransom for her father. She thinks she's going to be chained in a dungeon for the rest of her life, but that doesn't stop her from sacrificing herself for her father's sake. That's love.

What follows is a series of sacrifices Belle and the Beast make for each-other without expecting anything in return:

Belle has broken the rules and gone into the forbidden wing where she is confronted and flees the castle. She is about to be eaten by wolves. The Beast is furious and could have left her to die, but he comes to her rescue, and in doing so is injured and collapses.

Belle chooses to bring him back to the castle and tend his wounds. The monster was incapacitated, she could have run home at any point, but chose not to.

To thank her, the Beast gives her his library. If that's not a grand gesture, I don't know what is. ;)

Then there's this sweet little scene where the Beast shoves his face into his oatmeal until he notices a shocked Belle staring back at him. He tries to please her by using a spoon, but his massive claws can't hold it. Belle sees him struggling and suggests they both just drink from the bowl. See that? Each making compromises for the sake of the other. Awww!

Even the song "Beauty and the Beast" gives a good picture of the story:

Tale as old as time

True as it can be

Barely even friends,

Then somebody bends

Unexpectedly...

...Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Bittersweet and strange

Finding you can change

Learning you were wrong

I've always felt like this was the most realistic of the Disney love stories because it required so many compromises from both characters. They each had to get over themselves and let go of their expectations to make the relationship work. There is actual character growth on both sides as the relationship develops.

Of course, each of these gestures was a response to a previous one. They had to start somewhere, and the first one may not have been as altruistic as I'd like: the Beast probably went after Belle with the intention of bringing her back and locking her up, only accidentally saving her life at great cost to himself.

My motivation to love is also a reaction to something that came before. 1 John 4:9-12 and 19 says 

"This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us... We love because he first loved us."

The True tale as old as time...

Dear moms of fussy babies...

Last week when I picked her up from the church nursery, I was told that my daughter--the one they used to turn away at the door, the one who wouldn't sleep, the one who did nothing but scream for the first year of her life--MY daughter was "PERPETUALLY JOYFUL." 
I can't say it enough: IT GETS BETTER!!! 
I've gotten quite used to my delightful child by now, but anytime I get one of those comments it makes me pause and remember the way things once were. It fills my heart with wonder and deep, deep gratitude.
I remember those days all too well, and I wish I could travel back in time so I could tell myself how different things would be, how they would soon become "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" (Eph. 3:20). So I am passing it on to you. They are NOT colicky forever. They grow into such amazing and wonderful people, and as long and as hard as your road is, your "present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed" (Rom. 8:18). It's awful, but it's worth it. It gets so much better!
Tonight I sat in our rocking chair, cradling my daughter, and sang the hymn I used to sing through all the watches of the night. Same chair, same child, same song, new perspective. "Praise the Lord in joyful numbers, your protector never slumbers!"
God is faithful, praise the Lord!

Before: Her first day home from the hospital. We had no idea what we had gotten ourselves into...

After: This is the gusto with which she attacks everything in life now
(seriously, she runs to the breakfast table like this)!

Our Home

I looked around at our apartment tonight, thinking about how cluttered it was, listing all the projects I wanted to try, looking at the floors that need to be refinished, wondering if I was ever going to fix the organizer that got ripped off the wall, sighing as I saw the chaotic piles closing in on me from every corner, realizing how very different this place was from the way I thought it would be.
Then I looked around at our home and saw our life.
I remembered the brand new wood floors, put in just before we were married, and I saw the ground-in dirt at the entryway from all the guests and family we've welcomed into our home, and the scuffs and stains around the table from the meals we've shared.
I remembered the pristine walls, freshly painted, giving a clean, open, serene feel to the room. Then I saw the pictures of our lives together, the messy artwork our toddler so proudly taped up herself, the stains behind the couch(!) from the food our daughter devoured so happily, the gaping hole from that poor organizer, torn down by a child we took in for a month so his mother could get back on her feet.
I remember how spacious and airy our living room once felt, then I saw how full it has become from all the furniture, books, and toys which inevitably come when you add more people to your family.
I remember how I spent the first few months of our marriage meticulously organizing every nook and cranny, a place for everything and everything in its place. Then I thought of our toddler sleeping in the walk-in closet, our valuable storage space now holding something far more precious.

It's so easy for me to look around at this place and see the mess, the clutter, the scars, and the lack of space. So often I grow discouraged at how out-of-control the mess feels, how poorly decorated our apartment is compared to my friends, how I just don't have the time, space and resources to do with this place what I would have liked.
This place is so very far from what I imagined it would be when we first moved in as newlyweds, but our lives have turned out so very different from what we expected.
Tonight, I remembered that this apartment has been our home for the last three years. We have lived our lives in this place, not some fantasy daydream life where everything fits perfectly in lovely bins bought with coupons at the dollar store (and now you know what I daydream about...). This place has been our home through the exhaustion of medical residency, the sleepless nights with a colicky baby, loss of loved ones,  the heartbreak of miscarriage. This has been our home when we held each-other and wept, and when we jumped around laughing for joy. It has seen insecurity, sickness, fear, depression, defeat, bitterness, and sacrifice, but it has also seen healing, comfort, growth, hope, unconditional love, and faithfulness.
It has welcomed family, hosted dear friends, been a home-away-from-home for college students, taken in at-risk children. It's where our marriage started, and the only home our daughter has ever known.
It may not be as pretty as a magazine, but to me, and I hope to the many others who have graced it with their presence, it is a thing of beauty.

Our lives have not been serene, but they have been full. Our lives have not been organized, things did not happen "as planned," but praise God, we are learning to be flexible and receive each moment, each new adventure or challenge as a chance to learn and grow in Him.
This is the story of our family, this is a reflection of our lives together, this is a testament to the goodness and faithfulness of our marvelous Creator.
It's not pristine, it's not pretty, but it is magnificent. It is a thing of wonder, and there's no place I would rather be.

And the best part is, we're just getting started!!!

Consonant Blends and other quirks

We have a remarkably articulate 2 year old who talks up a storm in a very clear and precise manner, so whenever she does have difficulty pronouncing something, we feel compelled to document it.

Some of our favorite quirks over time:

When she was 18 months, her vocabulary was already fairly substantial, and consisted of English, Mandarin and sign language, but for some weird reason, she couldn't say "water." She could sign it, but no matter what, she called it "Gaw." We have no idea where it came from, it's not close to "water" or "Shui" (the Mandarin equivalent), but that's what she would say. We worked so hard, saying "Wa, wa, WA-TER" slowly and clearly so she would get it, and she would lean in, raise her eyebrows just like we did, and reply very deliberately "Wa, wa, GAAAAAAAW" The funniest part was when her grandparents decided to just adopt her word into their vocabulary. I'll never forget hearing them say "Do you want some gaw?"

We just about died laughing when she tried to say "computer" and instead all that would come out of her mouth was "potato." That's the one we decided to adopt, and suddenly all our computers were renamed. The kindle fire even became our "hot potato." We were crushed the day she pronounced computer correctly. We're not changing our network names back, though. Those stay, a reminder of the adorable days of yore.

Her current and ongoing quirk is very specific, and no less cute. She can say the "S" sound just fine, but cannot pronounce it when it comes right before another consonant. If a consonant blend starts with "S," she will just say the 2nd consonant. In a cluster of 3 consonants, she can actually say the latter 2, but still no S's. It makes for some very cute (and slightly confusing) words!
Here are a few highlights:

scrubs = cwubs (oh yeah, she's also got the stereotypical r=w quirk)
stop = top
stretch = twetch!
stepstool = teptool!
story = towy
squish = quish
stinky = tinky
sticky = ticky
stuck = tuck
scooter = cooter
stairs = taiws
small = mall
smile = mile
snake = nake
sneaky = neaky!


If we really push her, she will sometimes make an effort, but it will either sound like "S, S, cwubs" or she'll blow air through her nose to approximate the initial S sound, but it ends up sounding more like a funny H. So occasionally you'll hear her say something like "hmall," or "hnake."

I doubt this is unique, there must be tons of toddlers out there calling people 'neaky 'tinkers, but I wanted to make sure I wrote it down somewhere. Because I know that someday, just like "water" and "computer," she'll be able to pronounce the initial S in a consonant blend like a pro, and I want to remember.

Thank you, Pinterest!

Today was a "sick day" for me. I've been fighting a cold for days and finally succumbed this morning. Nothing terrible, just your run-of-the mill sore throat, swollen sinuses, runny nose, headache and fatigue deal, but certainly enough to make me want a quiet day doing "nothing" at home.

Of course, my 2-year-old felt just fine and was wondering what new adventures we were going to have today?! Thankfully I've been collecting ideas for fun activities on Pinterest and happened to have the right supplies handy (didn't take much). Today's post is a photo journal of how I kept my toddler busy while I sat idly by and convalesced. 

We haven't really worked on lower case letters, but I made an upper- lower-case match-up card set and she caught right on! She really enjoyed putting the "daddy" letters with the "baby" letters (her words, not mine)!

Next, I cannibalized an empty cereal box and a sweet friend let us raid her yarn remnants for some lace-up cards!
Again, she's never done anything like this before, but got it pretty quickly.

"Hey! I was playing with that!"

Q-tip painting! Who knew they made such good little paint brushes?! Again, it took a few minutes for her to figure out how to paint in the little circles, but after that she was unstoppable! She could have done this all day!

Super cool templates found here:
http://therapyfunzone.com/blog/2012/12/q-tip-painting-with-templates/

Isn't that just delightful?
I cut the Q-tips in half to extend my supply and pack in a little fine-motor-skill oomph.

I'm so thankful for the creativity of others who are willing to share, and the resources we have on the internet! Not only did I keep my daughter busy so I could rest, but we also had quality time painting together and the day was filled with great educational/developmental activities. Honestly, in some ways it almost feels like we did MORE today than we usually do! Time to look around for more ideas in case I'm still under the weather tomorrow...