An Adventure on Every Page!

Kaja's imagination is most active in the morning after breakfast. I always feel a little bit like a lazy mom, letting her play so long by herself, but I love to just sit with my coffee and watch her go! She's off in her own little world having "adventures" and the things she says and does are simply delightful!

This morning, as she does most mornings, she put on her favorite pair of shoes (that are still too big for her, so we can't wear them out yet) and announced "I'm going on an adventure now!"
Do you want to know where today's adventure is taking us? "To the LIBRARY!" Kaja set up an imaginary library by her bookshelves and is going back and forth, collecting a stack of books, "taking them home" to read them all out loud, then returning for another stack (we're still working on returning the books themselves to the library). She has most of her books memorized, and the few she doesn't know yet, she just wings it from the pictures, and that, too, is quite a show! I just love that her idea of an adventure is going to a place where she can read as much as she wants. She is currently working on book #19. And now she's pulled out another book with lots of words, and is calling me over to read with her. Warms my heart!

Who's Teaching Who?

I get to teach the Kindergarten-2nd grade sunday school class at my church once or twice a month. I love getting to spend time with the kids, and I've always loved teaching in general, but the thing I find most humbling is that, even though my audience is 5-7 year-olds, and the stories are the same ones I've heard since infancy, I am still learning and benefitting from the same truths that I am teaching to the children. The craziest part is that I usually don't realize how much I needed to hear that lesson myself until Sunday morning, as the words are coming out of my mouth and the Holy Spirit is pricking my heart and saying "listen!" It makes me marvel and rejoice at how timeless the truths of God are. It is simple enough for a child to understand, yet deep and complex and meaningful enough that we will never be able to plumb the depths of it's wisdom.

This week I taught the story of Jonah, and boy was I convicted! I felt like such a hypocrite, telling these things to the class when I myself hadn't been thinking about or following these words for much of my week. I'm so thankful to God that He never stops teaching me, and always finds creative ways to do it!

Here are a few of the lessons we all learned yesterday:

1. God wants us to marvel at His creation. And He wants us to remember that it all points back to Him. Anytime we admire stunning beauty, magnificent power, awe-inspiring magnitude, perfect order, mind-bending creativity, heart-warming goodness, or anything else that makes us smile or think "wow!" that it all comes from HIM, and is just a dim reflection, a tiny preview of His beauty, His power, His magnitude, His order, His creativity and His goodness.

2. God made the world, and He called it good, and he cares for everything He has made, but He cares most about people. He cares about even the WORST people. Jonah was angry at God for allowing a shade-giving plant to die, but the thought of an entire city being destroyed in a fiery explosion didn't bother him at all. Isn't that the same for me? Don't I so easily get frustrated when I lose something that provides me with comfort or makes my life easier? If I care so much about these things, then the least I could do is care for people more--even the hard-to-love people that drive me crazy. If God cared about the people of Nineveh, who were sworn enemies of God and His people, the same people who attacked and enslaved the Israelites, then I can show compassion on those around me, no matter how frustrated with them I feel.

3. Absolutely nothing happens outside the sovereign will of God. There are some things that He actively ordains to happen, and some things that He simply allows to happen (that's where our free will comes in), but if He really doesn't want something to happen, it simply cannot happen. God actively sent Jonah to Nineveh, and when Jonah tried to refuse, he was stopped in the most remarkable supernatural ways. Not only was there a storm that stopped as soon as he was tossed overboard, but he was somehow preserved alive in the belly of a giant fish for days before being vomited back onto dry land, of all things. I mean, seriously? There's no doubt in Jonah's mind how this all happened, and you'd better believe that the next time God told him to go, he went!

4. It is possible to obey God's commands with a bad attitude, but the only person suffering is you.  (see chapter 4) I really needed an attitude check last week, and this was a pretty good kick-in-the-pants reminder!

So what about you? What and how has God been teaching you these days? :)

Reviewing my Reflections from the 'Refuel' Retreat. Or just: "Remember."

Gordon and I have the privilege of being "adult mentors" for Crossroads, our church's university ministry. We're still trying to wrap our heads around the fact that we are passing off as adults, much less mentors, but that's not what this post is about. Every year the group has a weekend Fall retreat in a beautiful rural area by a lake in Michigan. There's always great teaching, worship, bonding, new friendships, hilarious skits, beautiful scenery, and generally a very spiritually refreshing and encouraging time (hence, the title "Refuel").

The last time we attended the retreat (2 years ago), we took our then 5-month-old colicky daughter, and it was a nightmare. She didn't sleep well in her own bed, and the new environment had her freaked out like nobody's business. She screamed the whole 3.5 hour car ride up there, refused to sleep, and would cry unless I held her (and I had to be standing and rocking/bouncing, too. No sitting allowed). I spent the entire weekend holding a fussy baby, spending both nights in the glider rocking chair that Divine Providence placed in the living room of the house we were staying. Then she screamed all the way home, too. Not a refreshing time.

This year we decided NOT to take children! Kaja stayed with her grandparents, and the little guy we're hosting through Safe Families stayed with another host family for the weekend (they had hosted him before and were so excited to see this sweet baby again!). Poor Gordon had to work, so I was on my own for the Retreat. It was weird not having my family there, and I went through a little withdrawal, but after I got over the shakes, I determined to make the most of my time.

The speaker for the weekend was Peter Frey, a Crossorads alum. I was thinking of adjectives to describe his teaching, and I came up with "passionate" and "biblical." Then I looked at his website and realized I wasn't the only one who thought that (it's so true)! He had excellent things to say, and it was an incredible blessing not just to hear him teach, but also to reconnect a little bit with his wife, Mary, who is pretty much awesome in every way (we were in the same small group once upon a time)!

The theme for the weekend was "Hearing God's Voice." In the first session, Peter reflected on the way God seems so easy to hear and focus on when we're at a retreat, away from the stress and distractions, out enjoying creation far from the hustle and bustle and noise of our daily lives. He said it wasn't that God was speaking louder in those moments, but that we were actually taking the time to listen. One of the overarching points for the weekend was that God never stops speaking to us.

There was a significant amount of free time where I had the opportunity to ponder what we had heard. I found my mind wandering to the last time I was here at the retreat, struggling with the burden of a colicky infant. I began to reflect on how much things had changed in the last two years. I thought about how far we had come, how miraculous it was that we all survived, but most of all, I remembered the way God spoke to me in those times. It was then, in the darkest, loneliest moments, when I didn't think I could physically make it another hour, when I was at the end of my rope and feeling more desperate than I had ever felt before, that God ministered to me in the most profound ways. Help is most appreciated by those who are most in need. It was in the dark solitude of the night watches that He reassured me "I will never leave you, nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5); "The Lord who watches over you... will neither slumber nor sleep" (Ps. 121); "The Lord is my light and my salvation" (Ps. 27). It was when my strength was ready to give way, when I was exhausted and shaking from fatigue that I remembered it was "the Everlasting God, Creator of the ends of the earth" who "gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40).  It was then I was able to say "my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Ps. 73).

Once the door was opened, memories flooded back to me. Memories of all the times I really felt like I heard God's voice. As I thought back over the years, over the trials, the frustrations, the triumphs, the blessings, the highs and lows and every moment that I had found myself standing in awe of God, I realized something. Just like Peter had said, God never stops speaking those things. It seems so obvious, so simple, but GOD. NEVER. CHANGES.

So think back. Think about all the times you've been truly moved by God. Think about the comfort you've received when you were hurting. Think about the times you said "it would take a miracle to pull this off!" and a miracle happened. Think about the days you were so humbled by the tremendous grace He showed. Think about the times you lost yourself in the marvelous beauty of His creation. Every time in your life that His power made you tremble, His goodness made you dance for joy, His forgiveness set you free, His people became your family, His faithfulness made you want to declare it to the world--all of the truly awe-inspiring moments where you realized you had truly seen God.

And now remember that He "is the same, yesterday, today, and forever." (Heb. 13) God says "I the Lord do not change" (Malachi 3:6). He is all of those things, all the time. He is all of those things right now. Right. Now.

And yet today, only 5 days out from the retreat, I find myself already running on empty. I came back to real life, and it hit hard. Both kids came home with nasty viruses (different ones at that, so I get to worry about them giving it to the other!), Gordon was at a conference in Seattle, and I was confronted with the very worst of myself. Anxiously worrying about the children, growing bitter at the sleepless nights bouncing from one sick bed to another, patience wearing thin and temper flaring as I struggled to meet the needs of my tired, fussy little ones. This afternoon I threw up my hands and said "Everything I got out of the retreat is already gone!" And that's when I realized (once again) what an idiot I was. Because the truth I got out of the retreat was that it doesn't matter where you are right now, because God never changes. He is always at His best and His greatest, whether we realize it or not. 

So my goal for tonight, and tomorrow, and next week, is just one thing: to remember. Not even to remember one specific thing, just to remember God. Anything about God. Because I know that all of it is always true. "The Lord is righteous in all His ways, and faithful in all he does." (Ps. 145) "in Him there is no darkness." (1 John 1)

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.

He Giveth More Grace (by Annie J. Flint)

1. He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
   He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
   To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
   To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
2. When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
   When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
   When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
   Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
3. Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
   Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
   Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
   The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
4. His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
   His power no boundary known unto men;
   For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
   He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Great is Thy Faithfulness (Thomas O. Chisholm)

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
there is no shadow of turning with thee;
thou changest not, thy compassions, they fail not;
as thou hast been thou forever will be.
Refrain:
Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
sun, moon and stars in their courses above
join with all nature in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. Refrain

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside! Refrain

Nebulizer treatments for everyone!!!
These kids are real troopers, and I'm so glad they're on the mend!
Praise God for modern medicine!

Pantry Meals!

One of the projects I've been working on for some time is the idea of "pantry meals." These are a collection of "emergency meals" comprised of non-perishable or frozen ingredients. The main idea is to have all the necessary parts on hand for those days when life catches up to you and you don't have any dinner plans or time/money to head to the grocery store.

I use these myself a lot when life gets crazy, especially during the seasons when we have Safe Families placements in our home. I've also started bringing "kits" to friends when they could use a little extra help (new baby, moving, death in the family, general stress, etc). Most of the ingredients are canned or dry goods, which are pretty inexpensive, and they don't take up any of that valuable freezer space! The idea is to have all the materials on hand, to use anytime you want without worrying about spoiling. I wanted to share these ideas, with ingredients, recipes, and sources, in the hopes that it makes life a little easier for someone else.

I'd like to add a little disclaimer: some might express concern over the "processed foods" used in a few of the recipes (not to mention the sodium content of any canned food). Don't worry, my family doesn't eat like this every day. Like I said, these are "emergency meals" for when I don't have time to buy fresh produce or cook meals from scratch. The way I see it, these options are way better than fast food.

Prep notes: I take a little time to prep and freeze some of the perishable items in advance, so they're stored up when I need them. I usually buy a few onions to dice and freeze in bags containing 1/2 and onion each (since that's what most recipes call for). I also buy a big bag of shredded cheese and split it into 1 cup portions to freeze. We usually buy frozen chicken breasts to use for these recipes, and I also will buy ground beef and freeze it in advance (I understand you can brown it first, then freeze it, but I just freeze it raw and thaw it to cook. Not sure which one keeps better). I also have a massive jar of minced garlic from Costco that lives in my fridge. I much prefer fresh garlic, but that jar is a lifesaver in a pinch, and that's what these recipes are for, right?

What about you? Do you have any stand-by/emergency meals? I'm not gonna lie, a jar of spaghetti sauce, or a box of mac 'n cheese can be a lifesaver on a crazy day (add frozen spinach to either of those for an extra veggie kick)!

Chicken Pot Pie

(from "arishaun" at http://ask.metafilter.com/156778/What-are-your-favourite-recipes-that-use-no-fresh-ingredients)

This is one of my favorites because it is so quick to put together and the results are yummy! I've even served this to (surprise) company a few times!

1 can low sodium Campbells/condensed cream of chicken soup

1 can low sodium mixed veggies 

1 12.5oz can of white breast chicken meat 

1 ready made pie crust (the refrigerated ones that come rolled up in a box, like these. They can be frozen for quite a while!)

1) mix canned ingredients (don't drain the veggies, break chicken into smaller chunks)

2) place one layer of pie crust in pan, add filling, cover with second layer of crust.

3) Bake at 375 for 30 minutes.

One Dish Chicken & Rice Bake

(from Campbell's Kitchen)

1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup

1 cup water (just use the soup can, leave 1cm at top)

3/4 cup uncooked white rice

1/4 tsp. paprika

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1.25 lbs chicken breast halves (another thing you can keep in the freezer)

1 can of veggies, drained (or frozen veggies), optional.

1. Mix soup, water, rice, paprika, pepper and veggies in a 2-quart shallow baking dish.

2. top with chicken (thawed). Season with additional paprika and cover.

3. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until chicken is cooked through and rice is tender. 

4. Let stand 10 minutes and stir rice before serving.

Broccoli, Chicken and Cheese Casserole

(Another favorite, compiled from many different versions across the internet!)

1 can condensed broccoli cheese soup

1 cup water (just use the soup can, leave 1cm at top)

3/4 cup uncooked white rice

1 12.5oz can chicken (drained)

frozen chopped broccoli

1/2 onion, diced (this ingredient you can buy frozen or do yourself)

2 Tbs. butter or oil

1/2 sleeve crushed Ritz crackers

1 cup grated cheese (cheese freezes nicely, too)

1. Preheat oven to 375

2. Saute onion in butter/oil.

3. Combine onions, soup, water, rice, chicken and broccoli in a shallow baking dish

4. sprinkle crackers and cheese over top

5. bake at 375 for 45 minutes.

Chili Cheeseburger Casserole

(modified from Taste of Home's Chili Cheese Dog Casserole)

This is another family favorite, but requires quite a few more "perishable" ingredients. The beef, onions, and cheese can all be frozen. Milk and eggs for the cornbread mix are just something I need to always have on hand.

1 can chili

1 can vegetables (I prefer green beans)

1 package Jiffy cornbread mix 

• 1/3 cup milk
• 1 egg

1 lb ground beef 

1/2 cup chopped onions

1 cup shredded cheese (divided)

chili powder and garlic powder to taste

1. prepare corn bread batter according to package directions. Spread half of batter in a greased 8-inch square baking dish; set aside.

2. In a large skillet, brown the beef and saute the onions.

3. stir in chili, drained veggies, garlic powder and chili powder. 

4. Once heated through, stir in 3/4 cup of cheese

5. Spoon into baking dish, top with remaining cornbread batter, top with cheese.

6. bake, uncovered, at 350 for 28-32 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Chicken in Peanut Sauce

(sauce recipe from Cooks.com)

2 Tbsp. smooth peanut butter

2 Tbsp. soy sauce

1-2 cloves minced garlic (can use jarred minced garlic, or garlic powder if you don't have fresh)

1/4 cup water

1 Tbsp. brown sugar

juice from half a lemon (I never have lemons on hand, so I usually leave this part out, no worries)

1 can chicken (or use cubed fresh/frozen chicken if you have it on hand)

Frozen green beans or other vegetable (optional, but I like to try to have veggies in as much as possible!)

rice

In a non-stick pan, combine all ingredients except chicken and vegetables, stirring constantly over medium heat until peanut butter has melted. You can do this in the microwave too, for about 30-40 seconds.

Stir in chicken and vegetables and heat through (if using fresh/frozen chicken, stir-fry in oil to cook through before combining).

Serve over rice.

Coconut Milk Curry Chicken

(Delicious recipe found here)

4 boneless chicken thighs, cubed (I use breasts because it's what we have in the freezer)

1 cup sliced onions

1 potato, cubed (this is the only "fresh" ingredient you need on hand, and I think you can even get canned potatoes if you really want)

5 cloves of garlic, chopped (best if it's fresh, but you can use the jarred minced garlic)

1 can coconut milk

2 Tbsp. curry powder

2 Tbsp. butter

Olive oil

Rice

1. In a large skillet, melt butter on low heat, then add curry powder

2. Add coconut milk and stir

3. In a separate skillet, saute garlic and onions in olive oil until translucent

4. add chicken to the onion mixture and brown.

5. add the onion/garlic/chicken mixture and potatoes to the coconut milk/curry mixture, increase heat and bring to a simmer.

6. Cover and reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer for 30 minute, or until chicken is cooked through.

Serve over rice.

Working together to mix ingredients!

What would YOU do?

Today, poor, stir-crazy Kaja was so excited to walk to the park, but decided to create a power struggle over her shoes, of all things! She LOVES shoes, and is so proud that she can put them on by herself now. I was shocked. You wouldn't expect "Come put on your shoes, please, so we can go to the park!" to incite rebellion, but today it did. I guess it was a reflection of the state of her heart at the moment, and a good picture of all our hearts, really. It seemed so easy: She wanted to go to the park, she likes to put on shoes, let's do one so we can go to the other. But she resisted. She just froze. When I called her again, she stubbornly sat down. When I asked her if she wanted to go to the park, she said "yes!" but she wouldn't budge. I gently reminded her several times that we couldn't go to the park if she didn't wear shoes, and she sat, immovable, silent. The more I coaxed, the harder she resisted until I finally announced that we weren't going to the park. You can imagine the devastation that followed.

I found myself throwing my hands up in frustration that my daughter couldn't see the common sense in the situation, but very quickly realized that, once again, I was looking at my own reflection.

Our Bible study just finished Deuteronomy, and I was struck by the clarity in Deuteronomy 30:11-20

 "Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach... No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."

It's so simple! Love and obey the Lord, because he is the source of life. Choose obedience and choose life. Any other choice is death. Shouldn't be hard, right? 

Right?

I recently illustrated this concept in the kindergarten-2nd grade Sunday school class this way: 

Imagine you're stranded out on the open ocean. There's no land in sight, you see sharks starting to circle, and you're sinking fast. Now imagine that a lifeboat comes for you. You scramble in and the captain says "I'm taking you home, all you have to do is stay in the boat and you'll be safe." Will you follow his directions? It would be so foolish to jump back in the water! The water means certain death, the boat is life.

It seems so simple, but over and over I make the choice to jump back in the water, to do things myself, to make my own way, under my own power. Every day I find myself treading water when there's a motorboat right there, waiting to take me home.

Colossians 1:16-17 says "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible... all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." He made me. He is the only reason these molecules are sticking together to form my body. How could I possibly think I am capable of doing anything apart from him? Moses put it so nicely above: "The Lord is your life."

Yet here we are, struggling to keep our heads above water, sinking fast in a sea of entropy and darkness, insisting that we are enough on our own. Oh, how we need a Rescuer!

Today, Kaja refused to obey my sensible request, so she didn't get to go to the park.

In my Sunday School illustration, the passengers who didn't stay in the boat never made it home.

In Exodus, the Israelites refused to obey the One True God who had proved Himself to them over and over, and an entire generation died in the wilderness, never making it to the promised land.

All of these stories have a destination, and so does ours. God is preparing an eternal kingdom, where we will live forever with a loving God in a magnificent and perfect world, free from all suffering and pain. But we've jumped ship. God is our life, our very source of being, but Isaiah says "everyone has turned to his own way." Romans says "all have sinned and fall short." None of us will make it to our destination if left to our own devices. 

When I look at it in this light, it seems so obvious. Rebellion is absolutely futile and foolish, yet our sinful nature constantly drives us deeper into our empty, helpless selves, and away from the promised Good that awaits. I watched my daughter shut down, throw up walls and grow increasingly miserable when she could have been playing in the sunshine at the park, all because she didn't want to put on shoes. Come to think of it, she probably did want to put on shoes, she just didn't want to obey me. 

When she calmed down, we talked (in a simplified way) about these things. I reminded her that when we rebel it is called sin, and that the punishment for sin is death. I confessed to her that mommy sins daily, too (she knows my shortcomings better than most!), but that God loves us so much that he sent Jesus to die in our place. He took our punishment so we don't have to die, and he came back to life so that we could live forever with him. He is our Rescuer, who has come to save us from the depths and lead us home.

Tonight, as I do most nights, I asked her what her "long name" is. "Kristjana," she answered. "Do you know what Kristjana means?" I ask. "Follow Jesus!" And with a kiss, I whisper into her ear the reason we gave her that name: "So you will never forget what is most important."

And that is what I pray for my headstrong, independent, capricious, feisty, stubborn, mercurial, determined, force-of-nature of a daughter: That when she finds herself lost and overcome (which, if she's my daughter, will probably be often), she will remember that whisper in her ear, telling her the Way home:

"Follow Jesus..."