Weary

I was bouncing a screaming baby in one arm and wrestling a tantruming toddler into time-out with the other. I ran into the kitchen to discover that lunch was burning on the stove, and then I saw Kaja’s glasses. She had taken them off earlier because of a bloody nose, and Teddy must have gotten hold of them. These nine long weeks have left me broken. We had a baby, then three weeks later, within 24 hours, I went from “just” caring for three young children on my own (while recovering from surgery) to an infected incision, a toddler with a broken leg, and a sick child. Did I mention we had a newborn? Four rounds of illness have now swept through our family, and not one of us has been spared. Every time I dare to hope we are on the mend, something new knocks us down again. I am so, so tired. Tired of being sick, tired of doctor’s visits, tired of prescriptions, tired of respiratory distress, tired of fevers, tired of the question “Should we take him to the ER?” Tired of sitting up all night with miserable little ones, tired of crying children. So tired. Yet in my head echoes a little ditty that Kaja likes to sing. The words are from Galatians 6:9 “Let us not grow weary of doing good. In due season we shall reap, if we don’t lose heart.” That bouncy, obnoxious little tune won’t get out of my head, and for once I am thankful for earworms.
Jesus was no stranger to this kind of suffering. He knows what it’s like to have people pressing in on all sides, he knows what it’s like to constantly have people needing him, wailing for him, practically hanging off of him. He knows what it’s like to be exhausted: he was so tired he slept through gale force winds! He was constantly on his feet, teaching and caring for the sick. He would rise before dawn and escape to a mountain outside of town, and people would find him and interrupt his prayers (I don’t have a mountaintop, but I swear, one day Teddy is going to learn how to pick the lock on the bathroom door). Christ was pouring out his life for us even before he was crucified, and he was faithful to this mission out of love for the Father. I tell my children every night “God made you, so you belong to God. God loves you and wants you to love Him back.” Despite all our shortcomings and rebellion, the Almighty Creator of the universe valued us enough to send his son to suffer and die in order to restore what was broken and bring us back to Him. Renewed lives, repaired relationships, perfect unity. The reward makes the suffering worth it. So let us “fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith. Who, for the joy set before him endured the cross.” (Heb. 12:2) God treasures you, and God treasures your children. Don’t grow weary of doing good: he has prepared these good works for you (Ephesians 2:10), He will not leave you to do them alone (Matthew 28:20).