"Pre-School" Lists

Last Spring I scanned through tons of "what your child should know before starting Kindergarten" lists (and a few "before 1st grade" lists), and compiled a "master list" of topics that I would like to cover with Kaja in these pre-school years. This is NOT an exhaustive list, nor does any Kindergarten teacher expect their incoming students to know these things (honestly, this is more like a Kindergarten curriculum, with several more advanced elements, too)! I DO NOT expect her to become an expert on everything on this list, and when I wrote it, I anticipated it would take at LEAST two years to get through most of it. Some items are a piece of cake for her, and some are extremely ambitious and probably won't be learned until she's older (the difference between a verb, noun, and adjective, for instance), but I put it on there as a reminder to help me work it into our conversations if it comes up, and to give me a goal to work toward, since I know she will need to learn it eventually. Who knows? She has surprised us plenty in the past!

Disclaimer: I'm not an educator. While some of these items came from education sources, this is purely my personal goals for my own daughter. This is literally just cut-and-paste from my brainstorming, so sorry for the discombobulated mess! Some items include suggestions on how to work on that concept, and at the bottom is my (incomplete) "wish-list" of supplies to play and learn with.

English/Language Arts:

• Rhyming words
• Telling stories from pictures
• Putting story pictures in order
• makes predictions about what comes next in a story (and why)
• Retelling and recalling story details
• identifies setting, plot, character, conflict (where/when, what, who, why, how)
• empathizing and talking about characters feelings and emotions
• "story stones" (making up stories including certain elements)
• Writes her own (full) name
• Concept of sentences, simple punctuation (period, question mark, comma, quotation mark, etc.)
• Title, author, illustrator, chapters, table of contents,
• basic word types (noun, verb, adjective)... do madlibs together?
• Fact vs. fiction
• Capitalize 1^st letter in sentence, and proper nouns.
• Tracing and writing letters and numbers

Math/Numbers:

• shapes (2D and 3D)
• Tell Time
• count to 30 (work in with months), 60 (work into minutes/hours), then 100
• seasons
• months of year?
• days of the week (this method using vitamins in pill organizers makes it so easy!)
• Yesterday, today, tomorrow, last week, other time words (work into vitamin lessons)
• Right and left
• sorting by size, color, shape, type, etc
• more or less
• measuring (length, width, height, weight, volume (liquid measurements), time, temp. etc)
• Money!
• Simple addition and subtraction
• working with a number line
• graphing
• ordinal numbers (first, second, third)
• simple fractions ("cut the cake in half")
• skip counting (2's, 5's, 10's)?

Science:

• Observations and hypotheses (prediction based on observation)
• use magnifying glass to examine items carefully
• 5 senses
• weather
• living vs. non-living (plants, animals, minerals, etc)
• What living things need to survive
• life cycles (like frogs and butterflies)
• classifications (bird, fish, reptile, amphibian, insect, arachnid, mammal, etc)
• plants: from seed (bean sprouts), grow a garden (from sprout to blossom/fruit), roots and root vegetables, different food sources (fruit, vegetable, grain, dairy, nuts/legumes, meat)
• stars, planets and solar systems
• Look at stars, talk about what they are, simple constellations, point out planets, etc.
• waterways (definition of: wells, springs, streams, rivers, lakes/ponds, oceans), currents, etc.

Geography/History:

• Understands different places have different climates, animals, cultures, languages, etc.
• 7 continents (list and locate)
• 4 oceans
• north pole, south pole, equator
• compass directions
• understand the difference between “city, state, country, continent”
• understands “Past, present, future” concepts, and the difference between stories and history
• Use timelines to show progression of time (seed-plant, baby to adult, progress of day, then history, etc)
• Talk about kings, presidents, governors, other authority figures

Life Skills:

• ROUTINE!!!
• Dress self
• button and zipper fastening
• tie shoes
• set and clear table
• help with cleaning tasks (sweeping, dusting, wiping)
• put away books and toys (sorting)
• early folding laundry skills (matching socks, folding towels, etc)
• sort her own laundry???
• Know her own birthday, address, phone number
• Know when to use titles of respect (Mrs., Mr., Pastor, Doctor, etc)
• help in kitchen (stirring, using the manual egg-beater, helping to pour/measure, use the food chopper or wavy chopper)

Gross Motor:

• bounce and catch ball
• skip
• hop on one foot
• climb ladders

Art and fine motor ideas:

• scissor work
• color blends (red+blue=purple, blue+yellow=green, etc)
• pipe cleaner and cheerio threading
• drawing shapes in different sizes
• using shapes to make a picture (start by using pre-cut shapes to make pictures, a-la funny face, eventually working toward drawing in the shapes freehand)
• stencils
• mist plants with spray bottle to build hand strength
• use an eye-dropper for coordination (fun for color mixing games! 2-in-1!)
• tracing in clay, cutting clay
• Recreating pictures, shapes, etc from looking at a model (no directions)
• creative modeling materials (toothpicks and marshmallows/raisins, etc.)
• Looking at and talking about different styles of art

Items/equipment ideas:

• Magnifying glass
• balance scale
• misting spray bottle
• eye dropper
• plastic test tubes?
• Small table/chairs
• low cupboards for her dishes/silverware
• Ideally, Kid-safe kitchen items in reach with a low workspace (hang a low shelf?) (wavy chopper, food chopper, manual egg-beater, plastic dishes/silverware, etc)
• Full-length mirror to hang sideways near ground (for baby), or larger/multiple mirrors (fun for dancing!)
• 5or7-compartmet organizer for laying out outfits for the week
• clothing hamper(s) for K
• trampoline (those small ones for exercising)
• tumbling mats (IKEA!)
• balance beam (again, IKEA!)
• items to climb, hang, swing, and rock on
• Hang a lower closet bar so she can reach her own clothes
• Tension/closet rod and bags with hooks for puzzles and sets of small things
• Chalkboard Paint! (magnetic?)
• Or giant, glossy sheet metal that can be magnet board and dry-erase board (oil drip pan?)
• The Crayola Dry Erase Activity Center is seriously the BEST thing ever! You can slide any 8.5x11 paper under the clear plastic and it becomes a dry-erase board! We use it for coloring, tracing, worksheets, mazes, you name it!
• play money
• letter stamps and stickers
• counting manipulatives (pebbles, bottle caps, glass beads from the dollar store, etc)

An Adventure on Every Page!

Kaja's imagination is most active in the morning after breakfast. I always feel a little bit like a lazy mom, letting her play so long by herself, but I love to just sit with my coffee and watch her go! She's off in her own little world having "adventures" and the things she says and does are simply delightful!

This morning, as she does most mornings, she put on her favorite pair of shoes (that are still too big for her, so we can't wear them out yet) and announced "I'm going on an adventure now!"
Do you want to know where today's adventure is taking us? "To the LIBRARY!" Kaja set up an imaginary library by her bookshelves and is going back and forth, collecting a stack of books, "taking them home" to read them all out loud, then returning for another stack (we're still working on returning the books themselves to the library). She has most of her books memorized, and the few she doesn't know yet, she just wings it from the pictures, and that, too, is quite a show! I just love that her idea of an adventure is going to a place where she can read as much as she wants. She is currently working on book #19. And now she's pulled out another book with lots of words, and is calling me over to read with her. Warms my heart!

Reviewing my Reflections from the 'Refuel' Retreat. Or just: "Remember."

Gordon and I have the privilege of being "adult mentors" for Crossroads, our church's university ministry. We're still trying to wrap our heads around the fact that we are passing off as adults, much less mentors, but that's not what this post is about. Every year the group has a weekend Fall retreat in a beautiful rural area by a lake in Michigan. There's always great teaching, worship, bonding, new friendships, hilarious skits, beautiful scenery, and generally a very spiritually refreshing and encouraging time (hence, the title "Refuel").

The last time we attended the retreat (2 years ago), we took our then 5-month-old colicky daughter, and it was a nightmare. She didn't sleep well in her own bed, and the new environment had her freaked out like nobody's business. She screamed the whole 3.5 hour car ride up there, refused to sleep, and would cry unless I held her (and I had to be standing and rocking/bouncing, too. No sitting allowed). I spent the entire weekend holding a fussy baby, spending both nights in the glider rocking chair that Divine Providence placed in the living room of the house we were staying. Then she screamed all the way home, too. Not a refreshing time.

This year we decided NOT to take children! Kaja stayed with her grandparents, and the little guy we're hosting through Safe Families stayed with another host family for the weekend (they had hosted him before and were so excited to see this sweet baby again!). Poor Gordon had to work, so I was on my own for the Retreat. It was weird not having my family there, and I went through a little withdrawal, but after I got over the shakes, I determined to make the most of my time.

The speaker for the weekend was Peter Frey, a Crossorads alum. I was thinking of adjectives to describe his teaching, and I came up with "passionate" and "biblical." Then I looked at his website and realized I wasn't the only one who thought that (it's so true)! He had excellent things to say, and it was an incredible blessing not just to hear him teach, but also to reconnect a little bit with his wife, Mary, who is pretty much awesome in every way (we were in the same small group once upon a time)!

The theme for the weekend was "Hearing God's Voice." In the first session, Peter reflected on the way God seems so easy to hear and focus on when we're at a retreat, away from the stress and distractions, out enjoying creation far from the hustle and bustle and noise of our daily lives. He said it wasn't that God was speaking louder in those moments, but that we were actually taking the time to listen. One of the overarching points for the weekend was that God never stops speaking to us.

There was a significant amount of free time where I had the opportunity to ponder what we had heard. I found my mind wandering to the last time I was here at the retreat, struggling with the burden of a colicky infant. I began to reflect on how much things had changed in the last two years. I thought about how far we had come, how miraculous it was that we all survived, but most of all, I remembered the way God spoke to me in those times. It was then, in the darkest, loneliest moments, when I didn't think I could physically make it another hour, when I was at the end of my rope and feeling more desperate than I had ever felt before, that God ministered to me in the most profound ways. Help is most appreciated by those who are most in need. It was in the dark solitude of the night watches that He reassured me "I will never leave you, nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5); "The Lord who watches over you... will neither slumber nor sleep" (Ps. 121); "The Lord is my light and my salvation" (Ps. 27). It was when my strength was ready to give way, when I was exhausted and shaking from fatigue that I remembered it was "the Everlasting God, Creator of the ends of the earth" who "gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40).  It was then I was able to say "my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Ps. 73).

Once the door was opened, memories flooded back to me. Memories of all the times I really felt like I heard God's voice. As I thought back over the years, over the trials, the frustrations, the triumphs, the blessings, the highs and lows and every moment that I had found myself standing in awe of God, I realized something. Just like Peter had said, God never stops speaking those things. It seems so obvious, so simple, but GOD. NEVER. CHANGES.

So think back. Think about all the times you've been truly moved by God. Think about the comfort you've received when you were hurting. Think about the times you said "it would take a miracle to pull this off!" and a miracle happened. Think about the days you were so humbled by the tremendous grace He showed. Think about the times you lost yourself in the marvelous beauty of His creation. Every time in your life that His power made you tremble, His goodness made you dance for joy, His forgiveness set you free, His people became your family, His faithfulness made you want to declare it to the world--all of the truly awe-inspiring moments where you realized you had truly seen God.

And now remember that He "is the same, yesterday, today, and forever." (Heb. 13) God says "I the Lord do not change" (Malachi 3:6). He is all of those things, all the time. He is all of those things right now. Right. Now.

And yet today, only 5 days out from the retreat, I find myself already running on empty. I came back to real life, and it hit hard. Both kids came home with nasty viruses (different ones at that, so I get to worry about them giving it to the other!), Gordon was at a conference in Seattle, and I was confronted with the very worst of myself. Anxiously worrying about the children, growing bitter at the sleepless nights bouncing from one sick bed to another, patience wearing thin and temper flaring as I struggled to meet the needs of my tired, fussy little ones. This afternoon I threw up my hands and said "Everything I got out of the retreat is already gone!" And that's when I realized (once again) what an idiot I was. Because the truth I got out of the retreat was that it doesn't matter where you are right now, because God never changes. He is always at His best and His greatest, whether we realize it or not. 

So my goal for tonight, and tomorrow, and next week, is just one thing: to remember. Not even to remember one specific thing, just to remember God. Anything about God. Because I know that all of it is always true. "The Lord is righteous in all His ways, and faithful in all he does." (Ps. 145) "in Him there is no darkness." (1 John 1)

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.

He Giveth More Grace (by Annie J. Flint)

1. He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
   He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
   To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
   To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
2. When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
   When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
   When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
   Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
3. Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
   Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
   Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
   The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
4. His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
   His power no boundary known unto men;
   For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
   He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Great is Thy Faithfulness (Thomas O. Chisholm)

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
there is no shadow of turning with thee;
thou changest not, thy compassions, they fail not;
as thou hast been thou forever will be.
Refrain:
Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
sun, moon and stars in their courses above
join with all nature in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. Refrain

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside! Refrain

Nebulizer treatments for everyone!!!
These kids are real troopers, and I'm so glad they're on the mend!
Praise God for modern medicine!

Pantry Meals!

One of the projects I've been working on for some time is the idea of "pantry meals." These are a collection of "emergency meals" comprised of non-perishable or frozen ingredients. The main idea is to have all the necessary parts on hand for those days when life catches up to you and you don't have any dinner plans or time/money to head to the grocery store.

I use these myself a lot when life gets crazy, especially during the seasons when we have Safe Families placements in our home. I've also started bringing "kits" to friends when they could use a little extra help (new baby, moving, death in the family, general stress, etc). Most of the ingredients are canned or dry goods, which are pretty inexpensive, and they don't take up any of that valuable freezer space! The idea is to have all the materials on hand, to use anytime you want without worrying about spoiling. I wanted to share these ideas, with ingredients, recipes, and sources, in the hopes that it makes life a little easier for someone else.

I'd like to add a little disclaimer: some might express concern over the "processed foods" used in a few of the recipes (not to mention the sodium content of any canned food). Don't worry, my family doesn't eat like this every day. Like I said, these are "emergency meals" for when I don't have time to buy fresh produce or cook meals from scratch. The way I see it, these options are way better than fast food.

Prep notes: I take a little time to prep and freeze some of the perishable items in advance, so they're stored up when I need them. I usually buy a few onions to dice and freeze in bags containing 1/2 and onion each (since that's what most recipes call for). I also buy a big bag of shredded cheese and split it into 1 cup portions to freeze. We usually buy frozen chicken breasts to use for these recipes, and I also will buy ground beef and freeze it in advance (I understand you can brown it first, then freeze it, but I just freeze it raw and thaw it to cook. Not sure which one keeps better). I also have a massive jar of minced garlic from Costco that lives in my fridge. I much prefer fresh garlic, but that jar is a lifesaver in a pinch, and that's what these recipes are for, right?

What about you? Do you have any stand-by/emergency meals? I'm not gonna lie, a jar of spaghetti sauce, or a box of mac 'n cheese can be a lifesaver on a crazy day (add frozen spinach to either of those for an extra veggie kick)!

Chicken Pot Pie

(from "arishaun" at http://ask.metafilter.com/156778/What-are-your-favourite-recipes-that-use-no-fresh-ingredients)

This is one of my favorites because it is so quick to put together and the results are yummy! I've even served this to (surprise) company a few times!

1 can low sodium Campbells/condensed cream of chicken soup

1 can low sodium mixed veggies 

1 12.5oz can of white breast chicken meat 

1 ready made pie crust (the refrigerated ones that come rolled up in a box, like these. They can be frozen for quite a while!)

1) mix canned ingredients (don't drain the veggies, break chicken into smaller chunks)

2) place one layer of pie crust in pan, add filling, cover with second layer of crust.

3) Bake at 375 for 30 minutes.

One Dish Chicken & Rice Bake

(from Campbell's Kitchen)

1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup

1 cup water (just use the soup can, leave 1cm at top)

3/4 cup uncooked white rice

1/4 tsp. paprika

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1.25 lbs chicken breast halves (another thing you can keep in the freezer)

1 can of veggies, drained (or frozen veggies), optional.

1. Mix soup, water, rice, paprika, pepper and veggies in a 2-quart shallow baking dish.

2. top with chicken (thawed). Season with additional paprika and cover.

3. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until chicken is cooked through and rice is tender. 

4. Let stand 10 minutes and stir rice before serving.

Broccoli, Chicken and Cheese Casserole

(Another favorite, compiled from many different versions across the internet!)

1 can condensed broccoli cheese soup

1 cup water (just use the soup can, leave 1cm at top)

3/4 cup uncooked white rice

1 12.5oz can chicken (drained)

frozen chopped broccoli

1/2 onion, diced (this ingredient you can buy frozen or do yourself)

2 Tbs. butter or oil

1/2 sleeve crushed Ritz crackers

1 cup grated cheese (cheese freezes nicely, too)

1. Preheat oven to 375

2. Saute onion in butter/oil.

3. Combine onions, soup, water, rice, chicken and broccoli in a shallow baking dish

4. sprinkle crackers and cheese over top

5. bake at 375 for 45 minutes.

Chili Cheeseburger Casserole

(modified from Taste of Home's Chili Cheese Dog Casserole)

This is another family favorite, but requires quite a few more "perishable" ingredients. The beef, onions, and cheese can all be frozen. Milk and eggs for the cornbread mix are just something I need to always have on hand.

1 can chili

1 can vegetables (I prefer green beans)

1 package Jiffy cornbread mix 

• 1/3 cup milk
• 1 egg

1 lb ground beef 

1/2 cup chopped onions

1 cup shredded cheese (divided)

chili powder and garlic powder to taste

1. prepare corn bread batter according to package directions. Spread half of batter in a greased 8-inch square baking dish; set aside.

2. In a large skillet, brown the beef and saute the onions.

3. stir in chili, drained veggies, garlic powder and chili powder. 

4. Once heated through, stir in 3/4 cup of cheese

5. Spoon into baking dish, top with remaining cornbread batter, top with cheese.

6. bake, uncovered, at 350 for 28-32 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Chicken in Peanut Sauce

(sauce recipe from Cooks.com)

2 Tbsp. smooth peanut butter

2 Tbsp. soy sauce

1-2 cloves minced garlic (can use jarred minced garlic, or garlic powder if you don't have fresh)

1/4 cup water

1 Tbsp. brown sugar

juice from half a lemon (I never have lemons on hand, so I usually leave this part out, no worries)

1 can chicken (or use cubed fresh/frozen chicken if you have it on hand)

Frozen green beans or other vegetable (optional, but I like to try to have veggies in as much as possible!)

rice

In a non-stick pan, combine all ingredients except chicken and vegetables, stirring constantly over medium heat until peanut butter has melted. You can do this in the microwave too, for about 30-40 seconds.

Stir in chicken and vegetables and heat through (if using fresh/frozen chicken, stir-fry in oil to cook through before combining).

Serve over rice.

Coconut Milk Curry Chicken

(Delicious recipe found here)

4 boneless chicken thighs, cubed (I use breasts because it's what we have in the freezer)

1 cup sliced onions

1 potato, cubed (this is the only "fresh" ingredient you need on hand, and I think you can even get canned potatoes if you really want)

5 cloves of garlic, chopped (best if it's fresh, but you can use the jarred minced garlic)

1 can coconut milk

2 Tbsp. curry powder

2 Tbsp. butter

Olive oil

Rice

1. In a large skillet, melt butter on low heat, then add curry powder

2. Add coconut milk and stir

3. In a separate skillet, saute garlic and onions in olive oil until translucent

4. add chicken to the onion mixture and brown.

5. add the onion/garlic/chicken mixture and potatoes to the coconut milk/curry mixture, increase heat and bring to a simmer.

6. Cover and reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer for 30 minute, or until chicken is cooked through.

Serve over rice.

Working together to mix ingredients!

Tale as old as Time.

My poor little girl spiked a high fever today out of nowhere (she is the queen of high temps and no other symptoms. What gives?!), so we had an impromptu movie afternoon. She's usually so busy that she doesn't have time to slow down for cuddles, so I secretly relish sick days where I get to curl up with her on the couch. Is that selfish?

Trying to get her to broaden her horizons beyond all-time favorite Studio Ghibli (Totoro and Kiki are totally awesome, but we know them by rote in 2 languages now), I proposed Beauty and the Beast. Here's how I pitched it to her:

"It's about a girl who loves to read books, and loves to help her daddy. She goes on an adventure with her horse, and makes lots of silly new friends!" She took the bait. I know how to play to my daughter's interests, all right!

She did NOT like the "'cary wolves," and was uneasy about the Beast, too (though she thought the talking clock was great!). We used the movie to talk about being kind to others, and what a difference that makes for people's feelings. Who knows how much she took away, but she did notice that both Beast and Belle were choosing to help each-other more and more throughout the film. It was neat.

Out of nowhere, she turned to me and said "Mommy, do you know that Belle loves the Beast?" I asked her how she knew that, and she said "Because the Beast takes care of her." Curious, I asked if she thought the Beast loved Belle, and why? She said "Yes, because she helps him."

It was interesting to hear her say that. We often talk to her about how Mommy and Daddy do things for her because we love her, so it's neat to hear these ideas percolating in her mind. Of course, her definition seems rather self-focused (not surprising, considering she's two. And human). She says each loves the other because the other does something for them. But I hope that eventually the true definition will come out and she will realize that love is not self-seeking. Someday, maybe I'll ask her how she knows Belle loves the Beast and she will reply "Because she helps the Beast"

This has always been one of my favorite Disney stories. I loved that Belle was a reader, and a daddy's girl (and daddy is an engineer, how cool is that?!), and totally NOT interested in boys! I found her the most relatable "princess" in my childhood as a tomboy/nerd. But that's not the only thing that resonated with me.

Everyone makes fun of this movie and says it's just "Stockholm Syndrome," but here's what I saw:

Belle willingly gives herself up as a ransom for her father. She thinks she's going to be chained in a dungeon for the rest of her life, but that doesn't stop her from sacrificing herself for her father's sake. That's love.

What follows is a series of sacrifices Belle and the Beast make for each-other without expecting anything in return:

Belle has broken the rules and gone into the forbidden wing where she is confronted and flees the castle. She is about to be eaten by wolves. The Beast is furious and could have left her to die, but he comes to her rescue, and in doing so is injured and collapses.

Belle chooses to bring him back to the castle and tend his wounds. The monster was incapacitated, she could have run home at any point, but chose not to.

To thank her, the Beast gives her his library. If that's not a grand gesture, I don't know what is. ;)

Then there's this sweet little scene where the Beast shoves his face into his oatmeal until he notices a shocked Belle staring back at him. He tries to please her by using a spoon, but his massive claws can't hold it. Belle sees him struggling and suggests they both just drink from the bowl. See that? Each making compromises for the sake of the other. Awww!

Even the song "Beauty and the Beast" gives a good picture of the story:

Tale as old as time

True as it can be

Barely even friends,

Then somebody bends

Unexpectedly...

...Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Bittersweet and strange

Finding you can change

Learning you were wrong

I've always felt like this was the most realistic of the Disney love stories because it required so many compromises from both characters. They each had to get over themselves and let go of their expectations to make the relationship work. There is actual character growth on both sides as the relationship develops.

Of course, each of these gestures was a response to a previous one. They had to start somewhere, and the first one may not have been as altruistic as I'd like: the Beast probably went after Belle with the intention of bringing her back and locking her up, only accidentally saving her life at great cost to himself.

My motivation to love is also a reaction to something that came before. 1 John 4:9-12 and 19 says 

"This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us... We love because he first loved us."

The True tale as old as time...

Our Home

I looked around at our apartment tonight, thinking about how cluttered it was, listing all the projects I wanted to try, looking at the floors that need to be refinished, wondering if I was ever going to fix the organizer that got ripped off the wall, sighing as I saw the chaotic piles closing in on me from every corner, realizing how very different this place was from the way I thought it would be.
Then I looked around at our home and saw our life.
I remembered the brand new wood floors, put in just before we were married, and I saw the ground-in dirt at the entryway from all the guests and family we've welcomed into our home, and the scuffs and stains around the table from the meals we've shared.
I remembered the pristine walls, freshly painted, giving a clean, open, serene feel to the room. Then I saw the pictures of our lives together, the messy artwork our toddler so proudly taped up herself, the stains behind the couch(!) from the food our daughter devoured so happily, the gaping hole from that poor organizer, torn down by a child we took in for a month so his mother could get back on her feet.
I remember how spacious and airy our living room once felt, then I saw how full it has become from all the furniture, books, and toys which inevitably come when you add more people to your family.
I remember how I spent the first few months of our marriage meticulously organizing every nook and cranny, a place for everything and everything in its place. Then I thought of our toddler sleeping in the walk-in closet, our valuable storage space now holding something far more precious.

It's so easy for me to look around at this place and see the mess, the clutter, the scars, and the lack of space. So often I grow discouraged at how out-of-control the mess feels, how poorly decorated our apartment is compared to my friends, how I just don't have the time, space and resources to do with this place what I would have liked.
This place is so very far from what I imagined it would be when we first moved in as newlyweds, but our lives have turned out so very different from what we expected.
Tonight, I remembered that this apartment has been our home for the last three years. We have lived our lives in this place, not some fantasy daydream life where everything fits perfectly in lovely bins bought with coupons at the dollar store (and now you know what I daydream about...). This place has been our home through the exhaustion of medical residency, the sleepless nights with a colicky baby, loss of loved ones,  the heartbreak of miscarriage. This has been our home when we held each-other and wept, and when we jumped around laughing for joy. It has seen insecurity, sickness, fear, depression, defeat, bitterness, and sacrifice, but it has also seen healing, comfort, growth, hope, unconditional love, and faithfulness.
It has welcomed family, hosted dear friends, been a home-away-from-home for college students, taken in at-risk children. It's where our marriage started, and the only home our daughter has ever known.
It may not be as pretty as a magazine, but to me, and I hope to the many others who have graced it with their presence, it is a thing of beauty.

Our lives have not been serene, but they have been full. Our lives have not been organized, things did not happen "as planned," but praise God, we are learning to be flexible and receive each moment, each new adventure or challenge as a chance to learn and grow in Him.
This is the story of our family, this is a reflection of our lives together, this is a testament to the goodness and faithfulness of our marvelous Creator.
It's not pristine, it's not pretty, but it is magnificent. It is a thing of wonder, and there's no place I would rather be.

And the best part is, we're just getting started!!!

Looking Forward, Backward, and UPWARD!

Psalm 61:1-5
¹ Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
² From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
³ For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
⁴ I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Selah
⁵ For you have heard my vows, O God;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

What an incredible blessing to have a heritage of those who fear the name of the Lord! Psalm 103 says "But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to their children's children." I never met my great-grandparents, and my grandparents live rather far away, so I am not always aware of the numerous benefits I receive from previous generations. But I was raised by wonderful, godly parents, and they were both raised in loving homes where Christ was honored, because their parents were brought up by God-fearing Christians, too.
Now, I am very proud of my heritage, loving the traditions, food, language and history of the various nationalities of my great-grandparents, but my family's greatest legacy is not in ethnicity or culture. Ephesians 2 says "But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one... So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God's household... For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name" From generation to generation, my family has impressed upon their children the magnificence of God, the mercy of Christ, and the imperative to follow, love, honor and serve the LORD, from whom all blessings flow. I am a member of the household of God, as are my parents, my grandparents, and my great-grandparents. This is the foundation my family has been based on for over a century. This is my heritage.
Such great history brings with it a high calling. The message has been passed down through the generations to me, and now it is my responsibility to pass it on. As David said in Psalm 76:
² I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old-
³ what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.
⁴ We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done.
⁵ He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,
⁶ so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
⁷ Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.
The responsibility is huge. I am realizing that if my children's hearts depend on my faithful example and witness, they're in trouble, because I am not consistent in my spiritual life. I am not consistently a person worth emulating, nor do I feel qualified to teach--to be the primary source of truth in a child's life! For this reason, I find myself echoing David's cry from Psalm 61 (see the beginning of the post), that God would hear my prayer, that He would lead me to a rock that is higher than I, that I would dwell in HIS tents forever and sing beneath the shelter of His wings. I can't manage such a responsibility on my own, but I am so thankful that God, who has been our dwelling place throughout all generations, is willing to be my dwelling place, as well!!!